180
by Lizzy '-' rocks
Summary: After everything that's happened so far, Rin's decided she's giving upon life. For good. But when she ends up in a mental ward after her experience, what kind of adventures, good or bad, will await her? Rin X Mikuo ((COMPLETE!))
1. Chapter 1

A/N- Yay, a new story :) It's been forever since I've posted anything so I decided I might as well. Also, I'm hoping to get a lot of writing done over Christmas break, so you can expect frequent updates for the next few weeks. This first chapter is pretty dark, but I assure you it won't stay that way.

I have yet to come up with a title, so if anyone has any ideas, that would be great.

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Somehow, despite everything that had happened over the past few months, Rin had always managed to keep plodding along. Even through her parents' divorce, through her brother storming out with a girl she hated... No matter how tempting it was sometimes to just stop trying, to give up on everything, she had always tried to put on a brave face and bear it.

Many times, she'd been tempted to just end everything. But she'd always managed to hold back, to resist, because of the thought that maybe, _maybe_, something good would happen- Something to make her think that whatever God there might be didn't completely despise her.

But now- There was no way that there was anything left for her. Nothing worth living for, no matter ow she looked at it.

Rin locked the door behind her, looking at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Even her eyes looked dull, beaten down, defeated.

But somehow, she managed a slight smile- Maybe because she'd finally decided on how she was going to make her escape.

She pulled a razor blade from its concealed spot in her pocket, and hardly hesitated for even a moment before sliding it across her wrist. A trail of blood trickled down her arm, and she filled the kitchen sink with lukewarm water before plunging her forearm into it.

She watched the brilliant crimson liquid flow from her wrist, the water quickly taking on a dangerous pinkish hue.

She started to feel a bit dizzy, but knew that one cut wasn't going to be enough. She held the razor blade over her skin again and was positioned to make another incision when she heard a knock on the front door of the small house. That was all it took to make her hesitate for a moment.

There was a sound of the front door opening, and it occured to Rin that she hadn't locked the front door. She knew, almost with a sixth sense, who had entered. It was Mikuo.

"Rin?" she heard him call, "Are you here?" She didn't bother to reply. She decided that she didn't care if her was looking for her, and resumed her position.

The second cut she made was deeper, and the blood flowed out at an alarming rate. Again, she plunged her wrist into the water, which quickly turned a disturbingly dark red.

There was a knock on the bathroom door, and Mikuo's voice asked again,

"Rin? Are you in there?" A Wave of emotion washed over her, a sudden wanting to live, despite everything. She was starting to feel very lightheaded, but tried to unlock the door with fingers that were slowly going numb.

Mikuo, from the other side, could apparently tell that something was wrong and she heard him scrambling to find the key to the door. She heard it scraping in the lock, and a moment later he was before her.

His arm was around her instantly, and there was a look somewhere between disbelief and horror on his face.

She stumbled forward, unable to keep her balance, and fell into his supporting arms. The world was spinning uncontrollably, her ears were roaring, and the only thing she knew with absolute certainty was that Mikuo's arms were around her, and that hw was talking to her... No, he was yelling at her, for being so stupid.

Her mind became hazy again, and the next thing she knew, she was sitting in a chair at the kitchen table and Mikuo was wrapping a bandage around her wrist, still muttering about how much of an idiot she was. She still felt too dizzy to say anything in reply.

Once he finished with the bandage, he took a deep breath and said, in a forcibly calm voice,

"Rin? Why... Why would you do this?" She shook her head, and felt tears she refused to shed sting her eyes.

"Was it anything I did?" Another slow head shake.

"You think I'm crazy now, don't you?" He flinched as though the words physically hurt him.

"I don't know what to think anymore. You... You were killing yourself, you were _dying_. That's not-" A silence hung in the air, before Rin broke it by saying,

"Are you going to make them lock me up?" Mikuo sighed, agitation in his voice.

"Rin, I... I don't know. I don't think you can understand how bad that was. You were... You... You were going to die!"

"But, I didn't want to, though... I mean, when you came, I didn't want to anymore." She looked down at the neatly bandaged wrist laying on her lap. "I didn't want to-" She repeated, which only seemed to make Mikuo more upset.

"RIn, you _must_ have wanted to. You can't do that and not want to."

"I... I just..." Rin couldn't find anything to say to express her emotions.

"Rin, I'm not going to pretend I have any power over your decisions, but I really think you should see someone about this.

"Fine. I will..."

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A/N- I couldn't find a better spot to stop, so that's chapter 1.

And remember, reviews are author food, and I don't want to starve. So, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N- Wow, a new chapter 2 days in a row :D You people are lucky, I usually don't update this often. And I'll be able to update more because most of this story is already written out in 26 pages (About) of composition notebook, so I only need to type it for now :)

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A few days later, Rin could be found sitting on her bed, staring into space, and still having neglected to find anyone who could help her. Mikuo was back again, she wasn't sure why exactly, but she hadn't answered the door so he'd let himself in. However, she didn't bother leaving her room to talk to him, or even do anything to acknowledge his presence.

He came over a lot, especially over the past few days since her suicide adventure. She was starting to wonder why- He couldn't care _that_ much, nodoby cared that much about _her_.

She could hear him coming up the stairs, and before she could follow through with her fight-or-flight instinct to hide, he knocked on the door. She didn't answer, or give any sign that she'd heard him. She felt bad for ignoring him, but she didn't see why she should bother replying.

He pushed the door open slowly, and she looked over at him with dull eyes.

"Hey." She said in monotone. "What's up?" There was a lengthy pause. Rin interrupted it by saying, "... Do you think I'm crazy?" Mikuo looked taken aback.

"Well... Do you think you are?" He avoided her inquiry. "I think that's the kind of thing you have to figure out on your own." Mikuo took a seat on her bed next to her and gently placed his hand on her shoulder.

"But, I think... I think I might be." Her voice was soft, and her words seemed hesitant.

"Well, you know, there're people you can see for that kind of thing. If you really think you're-" He paused, clearly not wanting to think of his friend as crazy or insane. "There's therapists or psychologists, people whose job it is to help people with these things." Mikuo's words didn't seem to do much to reassure her.

"...I'm scared." It was scarcely louder than a whisper, and was certainly out of character for her. Mikuo pushed a stray strand of hair off of her face and said,

"You don't have to be, okay? Look, how about I make you an appointment? One of my friends specializes in this sort of thing, and I'm pretty sure he has tomorrow off. I'll see if maybe he could stop by then." Rin shook her head.

"They'll want to lock me up or something. I know it." She pushed his hand away and covered her face with her own.

"Why do you keep thinking that?"

"Because... It's true. Because you can't kill yourself... And still be sane." Her voice wavered with emotion.

"Just... Take a deep breath and relax, okay?" Rin nodded. "How about this? I'll stay there while you two talk, if you want." She nodded again before she, unexpectedly, threw herself forward and wrapped her arms around him.

He hugged her back, slightly startled by the sudden close sat like that for a while, before Rin slowly pulled away and sat up.

"Hey, 'Kuo?" She said, "Even if they do take me away somewhere, are we still friends?"

"We'll always be friends, silly. That should be the least of your worries right now."

There was a knock at the door, and Rin cringed as though the sound physically hurt her. She got up and made her way to the door, but by the time she got there Mikuo had already opened it and let his friend inside.

He was a tall man who looked a noticeable amount older than Mikuo. However, the thing Rin noticed first was his brilliant purple hair.

She started trying to slip away, but Mikuo called her over before she could make an escape. He sounded a bit forced with the cheerful tone he used to introduce Rin to the man, who was apparently named Gackupo.

"So, why did you want to talk to me today, Rin?" His voice was very deep and relaxing, and made her want to tell him everything. Rin didn't answer, but moved her hand to her injured wrist subconsciously. Once it became clear than Rin wasn't going to answer the question, Mikuo replied,

"She, ah... tried to commit suicide." Mikuo's voice wasn't particularly loud, but was clearly heard by the room's two other occupants as though he'd shouted it.

"I see... Could you tell me, Rin, what was your motivation for that?"Again, no answer from Rin at first. Then, after a long pause she said,

"Are you going to put me in a mental hospital?"

"Well, if you won't tell me anything, I can't figure out how to help you." That was all it took to make Rin start talking.

"Well... My parents are getting divorced, then Len walked out with Neru... I'm pretty much always here alone, or with 'Kuo. And I just... I don't know... Everything just felt like it was so out of control I just... But I didn't want to die." She said the last part firmly, daring anyone o question her.

"Len- Is that your brother?" Rin nodded.

"We're twins." The comtempt with which Rin said the word _twins_ showed how deeply him leaving must have hurt her.

"Were you two... Particularly close?" Rin shrugged halfheartedly.

"Well, sure, we used to be. Not closer than normal twins or anything, though." Rin crossed her arms defensively.

"And this Neru- It seems like you don't like her very much?" Mikuo was listening intently to the story, having never heard the whole story from her before.

"No."

"Why not?" Gackupo seemed intrigued by her blunt, simple answer.

"She just... She's really annoying, and... One night, it was like three in the morning and I woke up because I thought I heard something, so I went downstairs and found Len, and he was drunk or high or God knows what, and I know he was out with her that night." Mikuo interrupted then.

"Rinny, you never told me-" He stopped abruptly after a warning glance from Gackupo.

"So, you hate her because you think she's the reason why your brother was... Intoxicated?"

"Well, not only that, but... Yeah, pretty much." Gackupo decided to change the subject, since she clearly didn't want to say anymore.

"So... Whose house is this that we're in right now?"

"My aunt's. My mom decided things were too chaotic at home, so I'm staying here until my parents... Settle things among themselves."

"But you're usually alone here?"

"Yeah. My aunt never got married or anything and she works pretty late most nights." Rin acted like she didn't really care, but Gackupo suspected that she wanted more company sometimes.

"And... You said Mikuo's _usually_ here?" Rin nodded slowly. "So, are you two..."

"We're just friends!" But Mikuo and Rin said in unison.

"I see... So, he found you when you were..."

"Yeah, I... He came in, and I think he was calling my name or something."

"You _think_?" Gackupo was confused by Rin's reply.

"Well, everything was getting sort of... fuzzy by that point."

"Mikuo, could you maybe fill in what happened next?" Mikuo gladly supplied his side of the story.

"Well, I was calling her, and she didn't answer, and I heard something like running water, so I thought she was just in the bathroom or something. Then, when i knocked on the door, I could hear her struggling with the doorknob, and I knew something was wrong. When I finally got the door open..." Mikuo closed his eyes, as though he was seeing the whole scene again. "God, there was so much blood, I thought I was too late for sure..." Mikuo took a deep breath and relaxed slightly before Gackupo said,

If you cut yourself deep enough that there was that much blood and you were about to collapse, you must have wanted to. You can't do that and not want to, because it takes a tremendous amount of willpower to do that."

"But..."

"What made you change your mind?" Rin shifted uncomfortably in her chair.

"Well... 'Kuo, I guess." Mikuo looked at her in surprise.

"Me...? How?" His brows were furrowed in confusion.

"I don't know... I could hear you and I just... I didn't want to die anymore."

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A/N- Ooooh, kinda-fluffy-ish. Maybe. XD

Well, how about this? I'm going to ask for 3 reviews before I update! (Which shouldn't be hard because I got 3 on the first chapter) So go ahead, review, let me know what you thought?


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- I would have had this up yesterday, except... I didn't. Oh, well. My grandparents were over, and I didn't exactly get the draft back from my editor-person (Seems weird to call her that XD) until late-ish. So, here's the next chapter. Enjoy~

In case anyone cares: Moonflower121 is my official editor now (Sorta...)

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"... Rin, I know you my not agree, but I think you should look into this." After about twenty more minutes of conversation, Gackupo pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to her.

_"St. Mark's Asylum"_ The title read. Rin took a deep breath, squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them and read the flyer in front of her. Apparently, they specialized in short-term intensive therapy, where you stayed for anywhere from a few weeks to a few years, depending on your 'condition'.

Rin had to admit, she'd expected an advertisement for a mental hospital to seem a little more... Negative. But really, it might not be such a bad idea...

She looked up to see both GAckupo and Mikuo staring at her expectantly.

"So, what do you think?" Gackupo asked.

"I don't know... Maybe..." Rin trailed off. Gackupo smiled rather creepily at the fact that she wasn't refusing, and handed the flier to Mikuo, who skimmed it before looking at Rin curiously.

"So, you'd want to do this?" He asked, gesturing to the flier. "I mean, I think it would help you, but do _you_ want to?" Rin nodded a little uncertainly.

"But... How am I supposed to tell my aunt about this?" Rin wondered aloud. Mikuo looked at her in surprise.

"You haven't told her?" Mikuo and Gackupo echoed in unison.

"Well... I... No." Rin looked down to avoid their eyes.

"Are you scared to tell her, or something?" Mikuo inquired.

"I just... I don't want anyone else to think I'm crazy" Rin suddenly found the floor very interesting.

"Rin, don't worry. Even if you need some help, you aren't crazy." Mikuo said reassuringly. Gackupo cut in "Now, it's been an hour... I think you can work this out?" Mikuo nodded, and Gackupo left the room to let himself out.

"... You really don't think I'm crazy?" Clearly, Rin wasn't quite ready to let the subject drop altogether.

"It's like he said. So what if you need a little help? That's fine. It's _normal_. Everyone needs a little boost every so often- That's how life works. Sometimes you stumble, but you need to have someone there to catch you." Mikuo could see that Rin still had a slight frown. He reached across the table and gently rested his hand on Rin's.

"And it's not like you'll be gone for too long, right? Anyways, you cal call me every day if you want." He squeeze her hand gently, and she nodded.

"But... 'Kuo, what if I'm there for a really, really long time?" A worried expression flashed across her face.

"Then I'll write letters and call you every day for a really, really long time."

"Will you stay... When I have to tell her?" Mikuo nodded, knowing instinctively that she meant telling her aunt about her decision. Rin smiled slightly, glad she wouldn't have to face the face telling her aunt alone.

"Hey, um... Where did you meet that Gackupo guy, anyway? You said he was an old friend, but you never said where from."

"Oh... Well, when I was twelve, my parents decided I didn't have enough friends to be normal, so they sent me to see him because they thought there was something wrong with me."

"Really? _You_ didn't have enough friends?" Rin exclaimed in disbelief. "But... You're so social and popular and stuff now!" Mikuo chuckled.

"I guess, maybe now, but I was seriously a loner back then. After I talked to Gackupo for a while, and started middle school I actually made some friends." Rin smiled slightly at the idea of Mikuo being antisocial and not being constantly surrounded by friends the way he always seemed to be.

But she had to admit, she'd been the same way. Well, she still was, really. She didn't have a lot of friends, even before she'd just recently switched , if she was going to be honest, she only really had one friend- Mikuo. Although she had only met him recently, they had become very close over only a few months of knowing each other.

Now- Now, she was going to have to go away to another new place, where she wouldn't know anyone and everyone around her would be some form of insane. Where she would be considered insane, too. Where she might be trapped in a padded cell and never get out-

"Rin?" Mikuo's concerned voice pulled her out of her thoughts. "Why... why are you crying?" Rin brought up her hand to her cheek and was surprised to feel tears there.

"I... I just..." She trailed off again. Mikuo gently reached over to wipe the tears off of her cheeks with his thumb.

"Are you okay?" He asked. She shook her head.

"N-no, not really... I..." Her voice wavered.

"You know, Rinny, you don't always have to act so... Impervious. It's okay to let your guard down every once in a while."

"Well, I just..." Whatever she was going to say was interrupted by the clear sound of a car pulling into the driveway.

"Is that your aunt?" Mikuo asked.

"Yeah... I forgot she was coming home early today." Rin suddenly took on a deer-in-the-headlights expression.

"Do you want to tell her now?" Rin nodded resolutely. A breif silence fell between the two as they both listened carefully to the sounds of a car door slamming, high heels clicking on the cement, a key scraping in the lock.

When the front door finally opened, Rin looked as though she was about to drop dead.

"Rinny! I'm home~!"

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A/N- So, who do you think her aunt is? It might be kind of obvious, but you people should still try to guess it :) Cookies if you guess right

Oh, and Merry Christmas :D


	4. Chapter 4

A/N- Had to re-upload this one, the formatting got really messed up. Sorry to anybody who had to read that mess :P

And... I originally uploaded this on Rin and Len's birthday :D

And... I'm updating this while on vacation. That's how into this story I am :)

And... Thanks again to Moonflower121 for editing~!

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"Oh, Rinny, I'm home~!" At first glance, Rin's aunt looked as though she belonged on the set of a 1950's movie. "Oh, who's this?" She'd apparently just noticed Mikuo. "And... What's wrong, sweetie? Wait, don't tell me- this idiot got you pregnant or something, didn't he?"

"NO! No, I... He- We're just _friends_, auntie! But... Can I talk to you?" Mikuo seemed to be slightly in shock by her daunting appearance.

"Well, aren't you talking to me right now, sugar?" She seemed completely oblivious to the rather awkward atmosphere.

"Well, yes, but-" Rin couldn't seem able to get a complete sentence out of her mouth.

"And you still haven't introduced me to your _friend_, you know," Rin's aunt cut across her. Though she wasn't talking about the subject she'd hoped for, Rin seemed thankful for the distraction.

"Right. Auntie, this is Mikuo. Mikuo, this is Auntie." Mikuo was startled out of his shock, and reached out to shake her hand.

"Hi. I'm Ann. Nice to meet you." Ann shook Mikuo's hand with surprising vigor, before releasing it. By the time her aunt had joined her and Mikuo at the table, Rin seemed to have turned mute. She repeatedly opened her mouth then closed it agaon, giving an excellent impression of a fish out of water.

"Oh, come on sweetie, tell me. Is it about your parents?" Rin shook her head. Then, she saw a way of explaining without actually explaining. She slid the flier across the table so that it was facing the older blonde. Ann picked it up, and skimmed it quickly. "So... You think you're crazy, or something?" Ann's thoughtless words weren't accepted well by Mikuo.

"You mean you haven't noticed? She's been falling apart here, _alone_, and you didn't even realize there was anything wrong?" Mikuo sounded outraged. "You didn't notice _anything_?"

"Well, I- Of course she's depressed. I mean, what with the nasty divorce my sister's going through. And her brother-" Rin let out a noise somewhere between a squeak and a yelp. "-But was there something else too?" Ann's perfectly calm voice caused Mikuo to snap.

"No, there isn't! Unless... Oh, I don't know, trying to _KILL_ _HERSELF_ counts as 'something else'?" He sounded terrifying and sarcastic, as though he'd very much enjoy being able to punch the woman in the face. Rin pulled her knees up to her chest, both arms hidden from sight.

"Really? Well, sweetie, I-" Ann appeared to have no idea what to say.

"...Don't worry about it..." Rin mumbled, talking so quietly it was hard to understand.

"Of course I'm going to worry about it! But, you really think locking yourself up is the best thing for it? Well... I'll support that, then." Ann's bubbly persona had all but melted away. "How about you two go for a walk or something... I'll call this St. Mark's place, alright?" Rin nodded mutely. Once she got outside and could feel the cool breeze on her face, she instantly felt better.

"That... Probably could have gone a little better." Mikuo said. "Sorry I blew up like that, but I just couldn't stand it, the way she's so oblivious about how you're doing."

"Well... She does care about me. She just has a funny way of showing it sometimes." Rin sighed.

"Yeah, that's for sure." The two walked in silence for a while. Mikuo broke it by interjecting, "Hey, Rin... What were you like before all of this started?" Rin looked at him in confusion.

"You mean like, back in middle school? Mikuo nodded in encouragement. "I don't know. More social maybe. And..." She trailed off. "And what?" Mikuo prodded gently. "Well, I guess I was happier." Rin paused. "I don't mean _everything _is bad now, but..." Mikuo seemed unsure how to reply.

"I wish I could've known you back then, when you were happy. I mean- Not that I don't like you now of course, but... I wish you could be happier." Rin bowed her head and looked down at her feet.

"So do I."

She continued to stare at her feet. One in front of the other, slow and steady. Just keep plodding along in a straight line, but looking away so you can't see where you're going- If it's in a good direction, or if it's a path you should turn away from. That was all Rin was doing, really. Just wandering on, not really sure where she was going to end up.

* * *

A week later, Rin's aunt was driving her to St. Mark's. The ride had been fairly uneventful, despite the ball of nerves collected in Rin's stomach.

"You know, sweetie, that flier said you can call me whenever you want. And you can call that Mikuo boy too, right?" Her aunt had noticeably been trying to be more empathetic since Mikuo's outburst.

"Yeah, I will, Auntie. Don't worry." But it seemed pointless to tell her aunt not to worry, since it seemed to Rin that she herself was the only one who was worried at all. The drive hadn't been too terribly long, only about two hours, but Rin wished it could have been a lot longer-as long as possible-to procrastinate her arrival. However, much to Rin's disappointment, the ride had to end eventually.

What Rin had anticipated had been something similar to a poorly made horror movie, with an electric or barbed wire fence and cells resembling a jail. But really, it looked more like a normal office building than anything else. It was three stories tall,with dull gray paint and a lot of windows. While Rin was examining the building, two people, a man and a woman, exited the front doors and made their way over to Ann's car. Ann rolled the window down.

"You'll be escorting Rin Kagamine, I assume?" Asked the woman, leaning in towards the car window, looking at the tablet computer she was holding.

"Yes... And there are still some papers I need to sign, right?" Ann asked. The man flipped through a clipboard he had had tucked under one arm, and gestured to the remaining forms that needed her aunt's signature. Rin couldn't help but have an ominous feeling her aunt was trading her off to the devil, although she figured she must be exaggerating out of nervousness.

"Ready, Rinny?" Her aunt asked as she got out of the car and removed her niece's suitcase from the trunk of the car. After a few final goodbyes, Rin's aunt drove away, leaving her all alone, save for her suitcase and the two employees with emotionless faces.

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A/N- Sorry again if you had to read through the horrible formatting before D: I'm hoping I'll be able to update again by Sunday, or Monday at the latest... If anybody cares enough about this story to want to know when I'll update :)


	5. Chapter 5

A/N-Wow, it was hard to get this uploaded. Technology wasn't exactly cooperating. Oh well. At least you get the chapter :)

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The man picked up the suitcase, and the woman gestured for Rin to follow them inside.

"... And over here is the dining hall, and across the hall over there is the common area, with lots of books and games and things." Rin had to admit that given they worked with crazy people for a living, the man and woman were very, _very_ dull people. "And I think that's about it. Oh! And your schedule..." The man handed her a paper with a neatly written schedule on it.

In the morning, she had up and fed by9 AM, then she had therapy until lunch. After lunch was free time and classes, if she chose to take them.

"Classes? Like math?" Rin asked confusedly.

"No, they're all fun classes like art or a foreign language. We have French, German, Spanish, and Japanese." The woman listed as though she'd said it a thousand times. "Now, let's see what room you're in..." The woman typed something into her tablet before saying, "Oh, room 202."

She looked around quickly, then added softly, "I'm not exactly supposed to tell you this, but usually they put the more temporary patients in the 200 rooms. So, that's a good sign for you, right?"

Rin nodded in reply, but with no energy. She felt as dull as the paint on the exterior of the building.

"Yeah, I guess so."

They reached Rin's room, and the woman handed her what looked like a small square of rubber on a lanyard. Rin looked at her, confusion once again muddling her face.

"It's the key. Here-" The woman pressed the rubbery square onto a rectangle set into the door above the knob. "We used to have normal keys, but these are more efficient. And, people can't try to stab their roommates with these ones." Rin shuddered at the thought.

The door beeped slightly, then opened. Rin was surprised that the room looked more like a normal, average hotel room than what she'd been anticipating. The walls were painted a dull beige color, and there were two double beds with matching dull blue quilts. By far the most surprising thing was a girl already sitting on one of the beds, talking animatedly with the air next to her.

"-And then, he was being really mean and he went like _this_ and he punched me, and I-" The girl suddenly turned away from her 'conversation' and said, "Oh, hello there, are you my new roommate?" The girl had stopped talking to nothingness and was clearly facing Rin.

"I... Yeah, I guess so." Rin, for whatever reason, hadn't expected to have something as _normal_ as a roommate. For some reason, it seemed un-mental hospital- ish. Not that she necessarily minded.

"Well, I'll leave you two to get acquainted." With that, the woman left, closing the door behind her.

"So... What's your name?" The pink-haired girl asked, still looking at Rin with her eerily wide eyes.

"I'm Rin. Rin Kagamine. And you are...?"

"I'm Teto Kasane. I'm schizophrenic." Rin hadn't expected her to be so open with the fact that she was there because she saw people who weren't really there. UMM YEAH. THIS LAST SENTENCE IS KINDA WEIRD.. COULD U BE A LITTLE LESS VAUGE? OR JUST REWORD IT OR SOMETHING. IT'S OUNDS AWKWARD.

"So, um..." Rin tried to find something to talk about, besides providing why she was there. "What can you tell me about this place? Like, what are the people like?" Teto thought about it for a moment.

"Besides insane? Well... I'd avoid Gumi Megpoid when she's hungry. She might try to eat you." Rin was more than a little surprised by this.

"_Eat me_?"

"Well, not necessarily you specifically, but... Everything. They tried to lock her up in solitary confinement once, but she... Well, let's just say that's why she's missing two fingers now."

"She ate _herself_?" Rin decided she definitely needed to get used to the idea that everyone there was mentally ill, because Teto nodded like that was the most normal thing in the world. "It was only two fingers. It could have been worse."

Rin had to remind herself that given her own current situation, it wouldn't be wise to judge other people based only on what was wrong with them.

"Um, anything else?" Teto's face lit up instantly.

"Let's take a language class! How about Spanish? I've always wanted to learn that!" Rin officially decided that Teto, besides being schizophrenic, was crazy in the most normal sense possible. She was hyper, random, and Rin could already tell she was lucky to have her as a roommate.

"Sure, sounds fun, I guess."

"Yay!" Teto then turned and faced the emptiness next to her. "Did you hear that? She said she'll take a Spanish class with me!" Well, she was crazy in the sense that she talked to the walls, too.

"Um, Teto?" Rin interrupted tentatively. "There's no one there." Teto sighed.

"Sorry... That's really annoying sometimes. Well, all the time, actually."

"Does it really look like there's someone there?" Teto nodded.

"Yep. It's really weird, 'cuz sometimes the not-there people seem more real than the real people. For all I know, you're not here right now either." Rin could tell Teto wasn't completely joking when she said that.

"Well, I am. Or I hope I am, at least. I'm not sure where else I'd be otherwise." Teto smiled, and Rin assumed that meant Teto actually believed she was there.

"I hope you're here too! You seem nice and... Not too crazy. What did you do to get in here, anyway? You never told me." It was going to take Rin a while for Rin to get used to everyone being so calm about the fact that they were in a psych ward.

Oh. I... Tried to kill myself." Teto looked disappointed.

"Darn. That means you probably won't be here for too long, then." Rin was a little surprised at how attached Teto had become to her already, given they'd known each other for less than half an hour.

"Hey, let's go to the common area. I can introduce you to people and stuff!" Since Teto seemed so excited about it, and Rin had nothing else to do, she agreed. Teto grabbed her hand and practically dragged her down a hall, down a flight of stairs, and into the common area.

Scattered throughout were some tables with chairs, two couches, and a lok of bookshelves filled with books, boardgames, and other pastimes. Teto dragged Rin over to a small group playing what looked like 'Go Fish' and declared,

"This is Rin. She's my new roommate!" The three playing cards looked up. A girl with unevenly- cut green hair, who was chewing on her cards, looked up and asked,

"Can I eat her, Teto?" She was looking Rin up and down as though wondering what spices she'd go best with.

"No! You can't!" Teto turned to face Rin. "This is Gumi. Don't let her eat you."

"Nice to meet you." Rin said politely, with an awkward bow in Gumi's direction, since she didn't want to get her hands close enough to her to shake hands like normal people.

Then, Teto turned to the empty chair next to Gumi and started trying to introduce Rin to someone who wasn't there.

"Teto, There's nobody there." said a girl with long, light-pink hair.

"Oh..." Teto frowned. "Well, this is Luka."

Teto then dragged Rin around the rest of the room, introducing her to a lot of people whose names she quickly forgot, and who she could tell were all at varying levels of mental awareness. After Teto had finished her introductions, Rin remembered that she'd promised to call Mikuo as soon as she could.

"Teto, is there a phone around here I could use?" Teto nodded, and pointed to a table with a few battered-looking phones on it (one of which had dents like bite marks). Rin picked up the receiver of one of them, and dialed in his cell phone number.

"Hello?"

"...Hey."

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A/N- Wow, the formatting got messed up again. Meh. I really need to find a way to fix that problem.

And, remember, reviews are author food. And I've been starving lately :)


	6. Chapter 6

A/N- I finished this a while ago, but I was having uploading... Problems, to say the least. And the formatting for this story still hates me :( Oh, well. Enjoy the chapter :D

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"Hello?"

"...Hey."

"Oh, Rin! Um... How is it?" There was a short pause before Rin could think of a good reply to that question.

"It's... fine, I guess. I have a schizophrenic roommate, and her friend is a cannibal. So, not too bad." Mikuo laughed, presumably because of the calm way with which she described the less-than-normal people she'd recently met.

"Well, just be careful, okay? I don't want to hear about you getting... eaten, or something." His words were joking, but he said them in a serious tone, showing how much he missed her already.

"I know. I will. But really, it's not too bad. For being here, most of the people I've met so far seem... Normal. More normal than most people. But then... They're here. So I guess they aren't. If that even makes sense. Like, my roommate, Teto- She wants me to sign up for a Spanish class with her. Seems pretty normal, right?"

"Rin, I think that's the longest paragraph I've ever heard you say." Rin twirled the phone cord around her finger, realizing that he was probably right. "Not that that's a bad thing!" he quickly added.

Rin could imagine, from the way his voice sounded, the slight smile that was probably on his face.

"Well, maybe. I don't know. But this whole place is kind of surprising, though. It's really relaxed. It's not like I expected padded cells or anything, but...still." The sound of someone's panicked yelling could suddenly be heard over the phone, presumably his younger sister Miku.

"Uh... I'm really sorry Rin, but I think Miku set the kitchen on fire... I have to go." Rin's face drooped at the sound of his words because she would have liked to talk to him for a while longer.

"Okay, I guess I'll talk to you tomorrow then," Mikuo rushed. Rin could hear a faint beeping in the distance, probably of a smoke detector, before he hurriedly hung up the phone.

"Well... Bye, then," Rin said into the disconnected receiver. She put it back on its stand, and looked over to see Teto having a cheerful conversation with the wall in front of her. Rin walked over and tapped her on the shoulder, and Teto stuck her tongue out at the wall.

"Hey, isn't it dinner time soon?" Rin asked.

"Yep! I was just waiting for you to finish talking. Let's go!"

The dining room looked similar to one you'd expect to see in a school, but anything that could possibly be a sharp corner was covered by padding. And it was crowded. It hadn't occurred to Rin until that point how many people there were at St. Mark's asylum. There were at least 200 people, from middle aged men to one girl who looked like she might be in elementary school. Most, however, appeared to be teenagers or young adults between the ages of 13 and 30.

Rin followed her roommate through a normal, standard lunch line to get their food, and Rin was surprised that the food actually looked appetizing.

Teto led her over to one of the larger groups in the room that were already sitting at a table near the center. The strawberry-haired girl introduced Rin to a few more people who hadn't been in the common area earlier, and they began eating. There were a few small conversations going on but Rin stayed out of them, quietly eating her food and observing her surroundings.

She was nearly done with her dinner when someone entered the room who was wearing a suit, which stood out in stark contrast against the sea of dull casual clothes everyone else was wearing. Rin didn't really think anything of it, however, until he tapped her shoulder and said,

"Hello? You're Rin Kagamine, correct?" Rin nodded mutely. "I'm Kiyoteru. I'm going to be your therapist for the duration of your stay here." Rin simply looked at him.

"Good to know," she eventually replied. Kiyoteru sighed and pushed his glasses up his nose a little.

"My office is number twenty-seven. Please come and see me directly after breakfast tomorrow." Rin nodded.

"Well, that's settled. I'll see you tomorrow, Miss Kagamine." Kiyoteru walked away and Rin finished her meal in silence.

Everyone else was still talking and finishing up their food, so Rin decided to slip away to her room to unpack and get some time to herself.

She walked to her room at a leisurely pace, and was glad to finally have some peace and quiet. Rin picked up her bag from its place on the floor and lifted it onto her bed. With a little poking around, she discovered one of the room's two dressers to be empty, and proceeded to unpack her clothes into its drawers.

Once she finished, she took a seat on the edge of her bed and lost herself in thought for a while, before she heard someone who had been walking down the hall stop outside the door, and a soft knock resounded through the small room. Rin got up from her spot, assuming it was Teto, and opened the door. Instead, Gumi's frame filled the doorway.

"Oh... Hi, Gumi," Rin said offhandedly.

"Can I eat you, please?" She asked, her voice sounding a bit higher-pitched than when she'd asked the same question earlier.

"No, I'd really prefer if you didn't. I... Um..." Rin scrambled frantically through her mind to find an excuse. "I taste bad. Really,

really bad!" Gumi didn't agree.

"No, actually... I think you'd taste really good!" Gumi lunged forward, and in a flash had Rin's arms pinned behind her back. Since the green- haired girl was so much taller than Rin, her head could have rested on the blonde's shoulder quite comfortably. Rin shuddered at the sensation of Gumi's uneven breath on her neck.

That sudden feeling put her body into panic mode. She let out a terrified scream, and managed to wrench her arms out of the completely insane girl's grip. Rin had only sprinted about halfway down the hall when she ran into the pink-haired girl named Luka (if she remembered correctly) that she'd met earlier.

"Hey. It's Rin, right? I felt you screaming and I came to see what was wrong. Are you okay?" Rin nodded quickly, before realizing something odd about the way Luka had phrased her sentence.

"You... felt me scream?" Rin inquired. Luka chuckled dully.

"Long story. Has to do with why I'm here in this damn place at all. Anyway, it was Gumi, right?" Rin nodded. "What did she do?"

"Well... She sort of decided she wanted to eat me." Luka sighed and ruffled Rin's hair with her hand.

"Geez, you're shaking. Are you sure you're okay?" Rin wasn't sure why Luka was so concerned, it wasn't like they really knew each other at all.

"I'm fine. Just... Startled." Luka looked doubtful and said,

"Well, if something like that happens again, you can use the panic button on your key, you know."

"There's a...?"

"Yep. Here, look." Luka held up her own key and showed Rin a small red button on the bottom.

"Oh. Okay. Thanks!" Luka's expression suddenly turned more serious.

"No problem. But... You should know, it's not exactly recommended to wander around on your own, unless you're one of the really crazy ones."

"Yeah. I'll keep that in mind." With that, Rin made her way back to her room, relieved that Gumi had wandered off by the time she entered.

Teto returned a few moments later, and Rin didn't bother telling her what had happened, knowing how close Teto and Gumi were. An uneventful while later, both Rin and Teto were ready for bed.

"So... how was your first day in the madhouse?" Teto asked through the darkness from her bed across the room.

"Interesting, I guess... I mean, I feel like I'm surrounded by crazy people. Not in a bad way exactly, it's just...different."

"Well, you get used to it, I guess. Once you admit to yourself that you're just as crazy as everyone else here," Teto giggled.

"Maybe... I don't know. I guess I already know I'm pretty crazy. Or at least really, really stupid..."

"Don't worry about it too much. You should try to get some sleep."

"Yeah... Well, g'night." Rin said, already beginning to drift off.

For some reason unknown to her, Len appeared in Rin's dream that night. He was trying to tell her something, but she couldn't understand what. She was starting to get frustrated, because she couldn't understand what he so desperately needed to tell her. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he finally screamed at the top of his lungs, "I'M SORRY, RIN!" And she was finally able to understand him.

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A/N- I don't think I ever explained the significance of the title of this story. So, I challenge you- yes, you- to review what you think was my reasoning. Closest guess gets virtual cupcakes :D


	7. Chapter 7

When Rin awoke in the morning, she was still deeply shaken by the dream. Even though she reassured herself that _it was only a dream_, it still haunted her. She decided that maybe her dream had had some truth to it, and resolved to call the boy later, even though he most likely wouldn't want to talk to her.

Breakfast passed uneventfully, and once she was done, she made her way to Kiyoteru (her new therapist)'s office, and knocked softly on the door.

"Come in." He called from inside. Rin pushed the door open, revealing a spacious office with a desk against the back wall and an armchair facing a sofa in the stood up from his desk, picked up a few papers, and took a seat in the armchair.

"Have a seat, please, Rin." He said, and she obliged, sitting down on the edge of the sofa. "So, how was your experience yesterday? The first day here is a little hectic for most people."

"Um, I don't know. It was a little crazy, I guess. The food was better than I expected." Rin mentally slapped herself in the face, knowing he didn't really care how the food was. But for some reason, Kiyoteru had an atmosphere that made him very easy to talk to.

"Before you came here, you were living with your aunt, correct?" Rin nodded. "What is she like? How does she behave?"

"Well, a lot of people say she's kind of like a movie star. She always wears a lot of makeup, does her hair really crazy, and wears a ton of jewelry."

"I see. Were you particularly close to her?" Rin shrugged halfheartedly.

"I guess you could say she's a hard person to be close to. She's not usually home, mostly at work. But we never fought or anything; we got along." Rin couldn't really think of a good way to describe her relationship with her aunt.

"So, I take it you were fairly distant. And... What was your family situation like before your parents decided to get a divorce?"

"My parents, my twin brother Len, and I all lived together." Rin tried not to say Len's name with too much contempt, but only succeeded halfway. "You know... You seem like you already know pretty much everything I already told my friend's used-to-be therapist." Kiyoteru smiled a mysterious smile.

"You mean Gackupo? Yes, he and I go way back. We met in college and have stayed close since then. He told me quite a bit about his visit to you, actually... He said he thinks you're in denial." Rin was utterly confused by his last few words.

"In...denial? What?" Kiyoteru seemed to be enjoying her confusion.

"Yes. But he was quite mistaken. You are obviously right here in front of me and not in the Nile at all. (E/N: sorry I just had to make that joke!)" He chuckled at his own joke, but stopped when he noticed his patient was not amused. He cleared his throat and continued, "Currently, what your denying is irrelevant- Maybe I'll tell you another time."

Rin crossed her arms in frustration. "That's not fair! If I'm here to 'talk to you and confide in you'-" Rin held up air quotes "-then shouldn't you answer me?" Kiyoteru shrugged.

"We're here to talk about _you_, though- Not what an old friend and I brought up in casual conversation." Rin sighed, unable to come up with an argument against his logic. When the therapist spoke again, his voice was back to being cool and businesslike.

"Now, Rin, do you have any ideas of what you could do, on your own time, to help yourself recover, and eventually leave the ward?" Rin thought about it for a moment.

"Well, I was sort of planning to call Len later, maybe?" Her statement of what she'd already decided to do sounded more like a question than a declaration.

"That's a good idea. Any other calls you were planning to make?" He looked as though there was an answer he was already expecting.

"Oh... Well, I promised my friend Mikuo I'd call him as well." Kiyoteru nodded in approval.

"Maybe tomorrow or sometime soon, you should talk to your parents. I'm sure they'll want to hear from you after all that's happened." Rin was mildly surprised that he had suggested that.

"I will. But I think I'd rather write to them. Separately." Kiyoteru nodded again, wrote something down on his notepad, and said,

"Alright. I think we've had a good conversation for today. Make sure you get those letters written, okay?" He stood up, and Rin understood that to mean that they were done for today.

"I'm supposed to come here every day, right?" Rin asked, with one hand already on the doorknob.

"For the first few weeks, yes. Once you're closer to leaving, it'll be less often." Rin bid him a hasty goodbye, before deciding to head to the common room and make her phone calls since she had a while before lunch. The room was surprisingly empty, which Rin was relieved about.

She leaned against the wall and, and picked up the handset. She entered Len's cell phone number, put hesitated to hit the 'talk' button. What if he didn't want to talk to her? What if he absolutely despised her? What if he told her that she _should have _died?

Rin put the phone down, unable to summon the courage to talk to him. She decided to call her aunt first, since she'd promised to do that as well. She knew she was procrastinating, and would have to call him eventually, but took the easy way out and called her aunt anyways. She dialed her number with much less hesitancy, and heard her aunt pick up after only two rings.

"Rinny?" She sounded more than a little worried about something.

"Hey, auntie. You told me to call, so... I'm calling."

"Have you talked to your mom?" Rin was starting to wonder if something was wrong, since Ann definitely sounded distraught.

"No, I haven't really had time-" Not technically true "- Did she have something to tell me?" Her aunt sighed audibly.

"Well, not her, specifically. She called me a while ago and said Len called, and needed to talk to you _desperately_." Rin was more than a little surprised by this statement.

"Really? But, I- He..." Rin wasn't sure how to reply.

"I don't know, honey. But the message got passed on that you need to call him as soon as you can, alright? You apparently have time now, so you can call me back some other time." Great, there went her brilliant excuse for procrastination. Rin's aunt hung up pretty quickly after that, leaving Rin with no other option but to dial Len's number again, this time not letting herself hesitate.

_Ring...Ring...Ring..._ Rin took a deep breath, releasing it slowly in an attempt to relax herself.

"Rin? It's you, right?" Despite her worry at what he might have to say, she was relieved to hear his voice.

"Y-yeah, it's me. Mom said you needed to talk to me?" there was a brief pause before Len started to speak.

"Look, Rin, I'm really sorry- About everything. I just- I was an idiot, and then I hear you tried to kill yourself and-" His voice cracked, "-And I can't help but think it was my fault somehow. I'm really, really sorry. I swear."

"It... I just..." Rin was shocked by how differently he was acting. Well, he was acting like the protective twin he always had been, which was the polar opposite of what she'd expected after how much time had passed.

"I can't say that you weren't a little, tiny part of the reason why, but... Please don't blame yourself. It was just... Because you weren't there, I guess..."

"Rin, I'm so, so, _so_ sorry. I shouldn't have left in the first place, and now _this_ happened and I... God, it's all my fault. I've been gone for so long, and now you're locked up _there_... I guess I should let you know, Neru and I broke up, I'm coming home, and I'm coming visit as soon as I can." Rin felt her heart skip a beat at the news.

"R-really? But... Does mom know?"

"Yeah. I'm staying with a friend from school now, I'll be home tomorrow." Through her joy, Rin realized a flaw in his plan.

"But, are you even sure you're allowed to come here?" Len sighed in mild agitation.

"I don't care if I'm allowed or not. I'm coming to see you."

The two talked for another half-hour, catching up on what had been going on in each other's lives over the past few months. Rin mentally questioned multiple times how she had managed to function for so long without her brother in her life. It wasn't exactly like she'd been reunited with a long-lost friend, really, more like she and her other half had finally been able to meet again.

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A/N- I had this already typed, so I'm uploading it now. But that doesn't mean you guys can't still review your guess on the title :D


	8. Chapter 8

A/N- Wow, I'm updating this really fast :D Like, seriously, this is the second chapter today. I finally got ahead of where I had this story written out in a notebook (My Hello Kitty notebook :3) So... Yeah. I don't know if directly typing it from my mind is going to make this story seem any different... Oh well. Enjoy~

Chapter 8. Death The Kid approves.

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By the time Rin made her way to the lunch room, it was already full of her fellow insane inmates. She grabbed a toasted tuna salad sandwich and joined Teto, Gumi, and Luka at their table. She made sure to take Luka's advice and took a seat between Teto and the pink-haired girl, instead of next to Gumi.

Rin cheerfully took part in the conversation, apparently so uncharacteristically so that Teto questioned her good mood.

"You seem really happy. Did they give you an antidepressant or something?" Rin smiled at her bluntness.

"No, not exactly. I was just talking to my brother for a while" Rin tried to say without letting her elation slip into her voice.

"Did you two finally make up?" Luka asked, and Rin was thoroughly surprised because she was positive she had never mentioned Len to her.

"How did you know about...?" Luka stuck her tongue out jokingly.

"Has to do with why I'm here. Not important." Rin decided that since Luka clearly wasn't going to tell, there was no reason to push her about it.

"Well... Yeah, I guess you could say we made up. And he said he's going to come visit me soon." Rin's face shone like it had been freshly scrubbed at the same instant as Teto's twisted into a frown.

"But, they only let some people have visitors, and that's usually people who are closer to getting out of here," added Teto. Rin's smile shrank slightly.

"Oh..." Rin hoped Len could still find some way of visiting her. "But, they said I'm probably not going to be here for too long anyway, so maybe-"

"Well, there's always a maybe," Luka interrupted. "And you know, you don't seem quite as insane as the rest of us. Maybe you have a chance!" Luka sounded like she was trying to show more optimism than she really felt. Rin was glad her chances weren't absolute zero, but they could still stand to be higher.

"Hey, Rin, all the classes start soon. Wanna come with me and see if we can sign up for Spanish today?" Rin had almost forgotten about her promise to sign up for a foreign language with Teto.

"Yeah, sure. I'll be there once I finish my food. What's the room number?"

"It's three- oh- eight," Teto declared, before clearing her dishes and exiting the lunchroom. Rin finished the rest of her lunch at a leisurely pace, talking with Gumi and Luka for a while before making her way up to the Spanish classroom.

She pushed open the door, and was surprised to see that it looked almost like a normal classroom, with the whiteboard at the front of the room and a few rows of desks facing it. There were about fifteen people scattered throughout the room, talking or staring into space or, in the case of one boy in the corner, probably hallucinating.

Rin saw Teto sitting at a desk near the front, talking to someone she apparently saw sitting next to her. Rin pulled back the unoccupied chair, startling Teto out of whatever she'd seen sitting there.

"Hey, we start in a few minutes, right?" Teto nodded non-committedly, her thoughts still held somewhere between Rin and whoever she'd seen sitting there before. Just then, a woman with short, wavy black hair entered the room, wearing a matching skirt and suit-jacket.

"Buenos dias, hijos!" She said, articulating carefully. (_Good day/ Hello, children_)

"Buenos dias, profesora." The class repeated back in reply.(_Good day/ Hello, teacher_)

Rin and Teto sat and stared. The teacher looked around at the class quickly, before noticing the two new students before her.

"Ah, you must be... Teto and Rin. You're new to this class today, yes?" Both girls nodded uncertainly. "Very well. I'm Señora Prima. _Bienviendos a mi clase. _Welcome to my class. After class, I'll give you a packet on all the things the class has already learned." Sra. Prima's voice then returned to being talking-to-the-whole-class loud.

"Now, open to page 394. Today we're going to learn the modes of transportation." Rin mutely opened her book, still surprised by how completely _normal_ the class seemed. "Este es un trén" She said, pointing at one of the many photocopied cartoon pictures held to the board by magnets. (_This is a train.)_

The rest of the class period passed quickly, and the relaxing atmosphere was enough to make Rin almost forget where she was. Almost.

After class was dismissed and their packets acquired, Teto insisted that Rin come join her, Gumi and a few other friends to play cards. They made their way to the common area, Teto skipping ahead and joyfully yelling something in a different language, maybe Japanese?

"I'm a ninshin ninjin! I'm a ninshin ninjin!" A few students who were probably in the Japanese class snickered.

"Um, Teto, what's a _ninshin ninjin_?" Rin asked, catching the hyper girl by the shoulder.

"Oh. I don't know. I think it means 'awesome person' or something." Teto skipped off in the direction of the common area, still screaming the odd phrase.

"Pregnant carrot," mumbled a little girl, who Rin recognized to be easily the youngest person there.

"Um, what?" Rin was thoroughly confused by the odd words.

"That's what it means. Ninshin Ninjin means 'pregnant carrot'." Rin couldn't help bursting out laughing.

"Really?" She was gasping for breath from laughter. "That's..." Rin burst out laughing again. "Thank you for telling me what it meant." The girl just looked at her. Rin waved goodbye and continued on her way, but the image of the little girl stayed with her. She hadn't seemed depressed, exactly, but she _had_ seemed... emotionless. It was interestingly odd, and even as she went to play cards and waste time until dinner with her friends, she couldn't get the image of the emotionless little girl out of her head.

And, of course, Teto was _still_ calling herself a pregnant carrot, even after Rin explained what it meant.

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The next few days passed relatively quickly, and before she knew it, it was the end of Rin's first week at St. Mark's. She'd talked to Len twice more, and she called Mikuo everyday. She'd written and sent letters to both of her parents, and overall, she was happy. Actually, she was surprised how happy she was, given she was in a mental hospital, which, usually, you wouldn't expect to be a very happy place. But Gumi hadn't made any more attempts to devour her, she'd made a few friends, and the deep cut on her wrist was almost healed enough to remove the bandages. Overall, things were looking up.

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A/N- I just posted Chapter 7, like, 3 hours ago and I've already gotten 2 new reviews on it *Feels loved* I love reviews 3. And, if anyone wants to check it out, I have a one-shot written that also features suicidal Rin. If you love me enough to go read that, I'll give you virtual cupcakes. Or Pie. Or something. :D

And the pregnant carrot thing is legit Japanese. It was an inside joke- thing with my PE friends for a while. And I had to put it here, because... It just totally works for Teto .


	9. Chapter 9

A/N- I looked at my traffic stats yesterday and... 58 people read this story! That's the highest it's ever been on any of my stories, EVER! Thank you all for reading this :)

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Once she finished talking to her therapist for the day, Rin made her way to the common area. She had picked up the phone and was about to dial Mikuo's number when she noticed the little girl she'd seen the day before sitting alone on one of the room's many couches. This wouldn't have been all that unusual, if she hadn't been staring at Rin in such a dull, wide-eyed way.

Rin decided to put down the phone and walk over to the girl. Her vacant appearance was so creepy, it was almost disturbing.

"Um... Hello," Rin said tentatively, waving her hand in front of the girl's face. The girl looked up, her vacant expression never wavering.

"Hi there... Missus." The girl then looked down and shook her head violently, like she was trying to shake something out of her ears. Rin was confused by her behavior, but not remotely frightened.

"Um... I couldn't help but notice you.. looking at me. Is there something wrong?" Rin tried not to sound rude, but the words still came out of her mouth a bit harsher than intended.

"No, there's nothing wrong." The girl continued to look at Rin blankly. It wasn't as though she was trying to be antisocial or push Rin away, but it was more like she had no personality. It was unnerving, to say the least.

"Well... What's your name?" Rin figured that since a conversation had been started, it would be rude not to stay for a while.

"I'm Yuki Kaai. What about you?" Rin was surprised by the way even her question sounded dull, like normal sentences- without any inflection or feeling.

"Rin Kagamine." Rin held out her hand in Yuki's direction, but was confused when the girl only looked at her hand with her same look of mild disinterest she observed the rest of the world with. Rin pulled her hand back to her side when it was clear that Yuki wasn't going to shake it.

"Are you here because you tried to kill yourself?" The girl asked in her high, empty voice, still void of any emotion or feeling.

"Well, yeah... I am. But, why are you here?" Rin felt a bit awkward about asking the question, but was slightly reassured by the fact that the girl most likely wouldn't catch on to the feeling in the air.

"I'm a rare type of sociopath." Yuki said, still lacking all emotion. Rin thought that most people would show at least alittle emotion when talking about their mental diseases. But, it seemed to Rin, Yuki Kaai wasn't a part of "most people."

"So, you're really antisocial?" Rin hadn't heard much about sociopaths, and wasn't really sure what the term meant.

"No. I have no personality." Well, that made sense. Talking to the girl did seem in a way like Rin was talking to a computer- Probably intelligent, but no feelings or personality. No person, really, just an empty living shell. "I wonder if she even has a soul.." Rin thought to herself.

But even as the thoughts passed through her head, she realized that she was judging the girl far more harshly than she deserved.

"So, you don't have any feeling?" Rin was met with Yuki's blank eyes again.

"Well, I feel pain and hunger, weariness and cold. But never emotion." Yuki looked back at Rin's scrutinizing expression with her dull orbs.

"Is there any way you could learn to have feelings, maybe? Like if something really traumatic happened, or something?" Yuki shook her head.

"That was why I lost my feelings and became a sociopath in the first place." Rin might have been imagining it, but she could have sworn that maybe, there was a slight amount of emotion in the girl's voice. She was't sure what it was, really- Fear? Trauma? It wasn't anything positive, she was sure.

"How long have you been here at the ward?" Rin asked, and she swore she saw the faintest flash of what could only be described as a 'thinking face' She wasn't sure if that really counted as a display of any real emotion, but it was closer than she'd gotten the entire conversation.

"About a year and a half." Her voice was still an unwavering monotone.

"Well..." Rin couldn't stand talking to someone so dull for much longer, even if she truly didn't want to be rude. "I promised my friend I would call him, so perhaps we can continue the conversation another time. Okay?" It was a weak excuse for leaving, but Yuki didn't seem to notice, or care. She just nodded slowly as Rin got up from her spot on the couch next to the young girl and walked over to the phone.

"Hey, Rin!" Mikuo's voice came through the phone, and she couldn't help but smile.

"Hey, 'Kuo. What's up?"

"Well, nothing really. We got a new microwave to replace the one Miku kind of... melted." Rin couldn't help laughing at that. "But, how are things going there?"

"Pretty good,I guess. Except... It's really weird..." Rin trailed off, then glanced over to see that Yuki had apparently wandered off somewhere. "... But there's a little girl here, and she has no emotions. It's kind of unnerving."

"Rin, how does someone have no emotions? It's not..." He cut himself off before he could finish the sentence.

"It is possible. And it's a little scary, but mostly I feel bad for her. Because I was talking to her, and she sort of let slip that she had feelings at some point, then something happened..." Rin sighed.

"Well, maybe having a friend could help her. And if anyone was going to be a friend who was strong, helpful, and fun to be around-"

"-It would probably be you." Rin cut him off mid-sentence. Mikuo chuckled.

"You know, I was going to say you- Mostly because you're the one actually there with her. And really, you're a good friend when somebody needs it." Rin smiled, and felt her cheeks flush slightly pink.

"Really? You're serious? I mean..." Mikuo laughed, and Rin could imagine him running his fingers through his hair, a smile on his face.

"Yes, really. I think, and I haven't even met her, that you could help her. If you'll be confident and supportive, yet yourself at the same time." Rin was a bit confused by his wording, but she understood the general idea.

"Well... Okay, if you say so. I'll try." Rin was still a bit flustered from his compliment, when he'd called her a really good friend and helpful and strong. Well, she didn't exactly consider herself to be strong, but she didn't offer up any words of protest.

A while later, Rin was walking down the hall to go back to her room when she passed by Yuki again.

"Hey, Yuki..." Rin called, placing her hand on the younger girl's shoulder. "Let's be friends, okay?" The dark-haired girl nodded, and something that maybe resembled a ghost of a smile crossed her face.

Maybe it wouldn't be hopeless after all, maybe Yuki did have some feelings buried deep inside of her- It would just

take a lot of effort and caring on both sides to draw those hidden emotions to the surface.

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A/N- Forgot to mention last chapter, but this chapter is the first one of what I guess you could call the "Yuki Arc" There'll be other stuff too, obviously, but Rin and Yuki are going to start being a big part of the story now. And, don't forget, reviews are awesome :) Tell me what you liked, what you hated, if there's anyone else you think I should add...


	10. Chapter 10

A/N- Yay, second chapter of what I guess you could call Yuki's arc of the story. I'm pretty sure it will be mainly focused on her for one more chapter, and then... Well, you guys just have to wait and find out ;)

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"...Rin?" The blonde heard Yuki's voice cut through the silence of Teto and her's shared room. She looked over in mild shock, not because she was surprised to see her young friend in the doorway, but by the fact that Yuki's question had actually _sounded_like a question and not a monotoned statement. "What is it?" Rin inquired, looking over from where she was putting clothes away into her dresser.

The small girl came into the room and shut the door behind her.

"..Are you crazy?" The timid question surprised Rin, mostly because of how much thought must have gone into asking it.

"Yes, Yuki, sometimes I think I am. But not always. Like you're not always crazy, either. Like now. We're having a pretty normal conversation, aren't we?" Indeed, it even surprised Rin how much Yuki had improved over the past few days. She was still emotionless for the most part, and rarely expressed any sort of care or passion for anyone or anything, but it was a start. Before Yuki had thought of a way to reply, there was a brisk knock on the door.

Rin, having learned her lesson from the Gumi incident, opened the door a crack to see who was outside. The man had rumpled, dark- blue hair, but just by what he was wearing, she could tell that he was an employee, not an inmate. She pulled the door open, and Yuki looked up at him with an unusual expression. It wasn't fear, or joy, but it was simple recognition.

"Hello, Kaito." Her voice was back to being dull and emotionless, which Rin found surprising. "How are you?" She sounded like a talking computer again, even more so than before.

"Hey, Yuki. I just need to borrow your friend for a moment, alright?" The younger girl nodded, showing absolutely no expression. The blue-haired man grabbed Rin's wrist and nearly dragged her out into the hallway.

"Um, not to be rude, but... Who are you, exactly?" The man chuckled and Rin had to admit that, had the man not been considerably older than herself, she might have found him attractive. "The name's Kaito. I'm Yuki's therapist. I just wanted to talk to you because... Well, it seems like you've been spending a lot of time with her, right?" Rin nodded, unsure where this was going. "I wanted to tell you, Kiyoteru and I agreed that maybe you could start coming to talk with her and I sometimes. To help her-because apparently, you've been helping her more than I have lately."

"O-okay. I mean, all I've been doing is talking to her, really, but if you think it would help, I don't think that would be a problem.. I mean..." Rin trailed off, unsure how to explain that all she was doing was talking to Yuki, and even that was usually just thinking out loud.

"Well, I'm glad to hear it. I'll see you both right after breakfast tomorrow, then?" Rin nodded, and reached for the doorknob. Kaito poked her nose jokingly and said, "You're kinda cute, ya know?"

Rin scrambled for her key, and let herself back into her room. She threw herself face-first onto her bed, next to Yuki, and mumbled,

"Your therapist is a creeper." Yuki nodded slowly, once.

"I know." She might have been joking, or she might have been completely serious. "But it's okay." Rin was usually confused by the lackluster way the pigtailed girl spoke, but not by what she said. Her words lacked originality, and were easy to comprehend. But... 'It's okay'? Rin wondered what she meant.

"Anyway, he said I'm going to start coming to talk with you and him sometimes in the mornings. Cool, right?" Rin filled her words with a false amount of enthusiasm.

"Yes. Cool." Rin couldn't tell if she genuinely agreed with her words, or if she was just using words she thought would fit the situation. Rin put a few various pieces of dirty clothes into the hamper, absently wondering how Teto had ever kept the room even mostly clean before she came.

"Hey, Yuki, let's go to the common area and play some cards!" Rin decided that if she didn't suggest something to do, Yuki would be satisfied with just sitting and staring into space all day. Well, not _satisfied_ exactly, since she didn't express any emotion, but she would be able to tolerate it without a problem. Which was an unusual trait in a ten-year-old, to say the least. Yuki gave another slow nod, and then did something that completely shocked Rin.

She reached over and grabbed her hand, of her own free will. Rin wondered if that was the first time the girl had ever expressed any sign of affection. If that was even what it could be called. Rin looked down at the younger girl, whose facial expression still hadn't wavered in the least. Maybe, just maybe, she wasn't as much of a hopeless case as everyone else seemed to think.

The two made their way to the common area, where a new round of go-fish was just being dealt. Rin and Yuki took the last two empty seats, and cards were passed in their direction. Yuki, as it turned out, was actually pretty good at go-fish, if winning five rounds straight was any measure of skill. Even when one girl got up and stormed out, saying the game was rigged, she didn't so much as bat an eye.

It was unnerving, but nearly as much so as the fact that the only time Yuki even seemed to try to break out of her emotionless shell was when she and Rin were alone. Once the go-fish game got boring, Yuki abruptly got up and said she was going back to her room. Rin didn't protest this, and wandered over to the other side of the room, where Luka was sitting alone at a table in the corner.

"Hey, Rin," She said. "Come sit down for a second." Rin agreed, having no reason not to trust the cotton-candy-haired girl. She took a seat in the chair on Luka's right, and was about to ask if she'd wanted to talk about something, when Luka said,

"Give me your hand." Rin was thoroughly confused, and complied hesitantly. Luka took Rin's hand into hers, and her icy fingers burned against the blonde's warm skin. The older woman ran her fingers skillfully and deliberately over the lines in her palms, before looking up and saying,

"You know, you should really tell your friend Mikuo you like him. It would make things much simpler."

"W-what?" Rin felt her cheeks heat up with a blush. "We're... we're just friends!" Once she got over her shock at Luka's unusual words, she started trying to think logically. And she came up with a pretty good idea of why Luka was there.

"I think," Rin thought to herself, "Luka's _psychic_.."

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A/N- Yeah, I know we're past the time of the Salem Witch trials, but... It fit, okay :) You'll get to find out more about Luka next chapter... And Yuki too ^^ I'm finding it hard to write this story while reading Vampire Knight, because I keep thinking of Yuki from that instead T.T And... If there are any characters you guys want to see in here, review or PM me and I'll try my best!


	11. Chapter 11

**E/N: Hello! iT's Lizzy here! Actually no. If I said that, I'd be lying. Hehehehe. Actually, it's her editor Moonflower121! :D just cuz I'm cool like that. Anyways, I'm just hanging out at her house, and uploading this chapter for her, because I am the source of her slave labor. DX Did she ever mention she was the Author god? Well, she is. I am the editor god, but that is much lesser. Anywho, onto the chapter! **

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Rin dialed Len's number, and he picked up after it had only just started ringing. She wondered vaguely if he had been waiting a while for her to call.

"Hey, Rin."

"Hey," she replied, wondering why his voice sounded so cheerful. "You sound happy."

"Really?"Rin could imagine him smiling. "I guess so. I called the ward earlier, and they said that Mom and I can come and visit you on Saturday." Well, it made sense that he was excited- In only two days, he'd get to see his sister.

"I can't wait to see you! It's been... How long? Six or seven months, right?"

Len was quiet for a moment, clearly still touchy about the fact that he'd been gone for so long. "...Yeah." He sounded considerably more downcast.

Rin sighed, having forgotten how sensitive he still has about it. "S-sorry, it's just... It's been _so long_. I can't wait to see you." She tried to sound upbeat, to ward away the bad feeling that had drifted into the conversation.

"Yeah... So, how have things been going there?" He too seemed desperate for a change of subject.

Rin wrapped the phone cord around her finger, and watched it slowly turn purple as she said, "It's been fine. Spanish class is... Fun?" Well, it was interesting, to say the least. "Hey... Do you know what a sociopath is?"

Len seemed confused by the sudden change of topic. "Well, it's someone who's always antisocial, right? To put it simply, I mean."

Rin released the cord on her finger, and watched it return to its normal color. "Yep, pretty much. Well, there's a girl here-Yuki-And she's one. But, it's a little different. She has _no_ personality. It's like talking to a 10-year-old computer."

Len sounded even more confused. "That's interesting, but... Why are you telling me all this?"

"Well, see, we've sort of become friends, and she's really opened up to me, for a sociopath at least. I've actually been getting pulled out of some of my therapy sessions to help her.. I think it's a sign that I might be getting out soon."

Len wasn't as interested in Yuki as he was that his sister might be coming back. "So, you might be coming home soon? Rin, I- That's awesome!" Finally, the mood of their conversation had lifted out of it's depressing slump.

"Well, I'm not positive, but I think so. Because Kiyoteru said-"

"Who's Kiyoteru?" Len asked. Rin was surprised by how sharp his voice sounded.

"He's my _therapist_. Seriously, why do you sound so... Suspicious?" Either it was static, or Len had let out a deep breath. Or both.

"No, no reason. Go on, sorry."

Rin was still confused by the interruption, but chose to let the subject drop. "It's okay. Anyway, Kiyoteru said that as people start getting closer to getting out, they go to their therapy less and less, and start doing other things instead. So, I thought, since they've been starting to take me out more, I'm probably leaving soon. Maybe..."

"Rin, that's awesome!" His voice disappeared for a moment. "Sorry, mom's calling me to go do the dishes, but I'll see you on Saturday, okay?"

"Ok, love you Len!"

"Love you too, Rinny. Bye!" There was a beeping on the other line, and Rin put the phone down.

"You know, Rin, I didn't _have_ to save you," Mikuo ridiculed. "A part of me wanted to let you lie there and _die_. But then a part of me, a tiny part, thought maybe you should live. Not like you're important to me, but you might be to somebody else. No, actually, I would be doing everybody a _favor_ if I just let you lie there and die. Honestly. You're _worthless_. And an idiot. You can't even be strong enough to live through some family problems? You're just going to do away with yourself without having any _backbone_?"

Rin sat bolt upright in her bed, and it took more than a few moments for her dream to melt away and reality to take its place. She was breathed heavily, and there was sweat beads on her face. She saw someone next to her and almost jumped out of her skin.

"...Rin? Are you okay?" It was just Teto.

Rin exhaled slowly and shook her head. _Of course_ it was just a dream. Mikuo would _never_ say something like that to her... Right? She looked over at her clock. Four-thirty on Saturday morning. Or maybe just really late on Friday night.

"Sorry if I woke you up, Teto. I just... I had a bad dream."

Teto put her hand on Rin's flushed forehead. "Do you feel okay? You're really warm and... You were kind of yelling in your sleep."

Well, that was news to Rin. According to Len, she almost never talked in her sleep.

"Yes, I'm fine, but... What did I say?" Now that a little of her adrenalin had faded away, her curiosity had gotten the best of her.

"Umm... Well, you kept saying 'I should have died' and stuff like that... It was kind of scary."

Teto's eyes were open wider than usual, which was saying something, since they were usually open really wide, and often a little distant. But her current expression of fear was nothing compared to how Rin felt. Even though she knew Mikuo would never, _ever _say that, it was still a disturbing thought.

After reassuring Teto again that she was fine, she rolled over and tried to fall back asleep. Though, she didn't have much luck, for her nightmare was still fresh in her mind.

"Yuki, what do you think about Rin being here?" Kaito asked in his oddly soothing voice.

"I don't know. It's okay." Yuki's voice was as empty and emotionless as ever, even though Rin was there.

"Would you mind if she left?" Kaito inquired. Yuki gave a slight half-shrug. No real answer though, just noncommittal action.

"How about if she leaves right now?"

No response.

Then- "Why?"

It was still emotionless, but at least she responded to what he said with what might be considered an opinionated response.

"So, you would care if she left?"

Yuki looked almost...confused. "I don't know what caring is. But she should stay."

Kaito smiled in encouragement. "And why should she stay?" It wasn't said rudely, but pronounced with great care, as it was clear that he was treading on _very _thin ice.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Kaito pretended he hadn't heard it. The person knocked again, louder. Then, the door was pushed open, and Kiyoteru walked in.

"Rin, I'm sorry to interrupt, but your family is here. Your mom and brother, I mean."

She nodded, the the information finally clicking in her head that today was Saturday, and she was going to see Len. She nodded mutely, and got up from her chair next to Yuki.

Nobody saw it, but as Rin left, Yuki gave to her back a look of longing.

*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*

**E/N: This is my (_I_ think) much more interesting version of Lizzy's** **"***".**

Rin followed Kiyoteru quietly through the halls, and after a few turns they were in a part of the ward she'd never been before. Kiyoteru pushed open the door to a dull, nondescript room. But, there was something special to this room. It took her only a moment to spot him, his back to the door and slouching.

"Len!" She cried, racing over. Before she knew it, she was in his arms, taking in his sweet-yet-masculine scent. "I missed you."


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Hiiiii. Sup? I am so totally out of ideas to say right now. I blame the burrito I just ate. Anyways.. I hope you enjoy the chapter! :)

**E/N: No. There are no options here. You have to enjoy the chapter, and you ****_will_****.**

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_"Len!" She cried, racing over. Before she knew it, she was in his arms, taking in his sweet-yet-masculine scent. "I missed you."_

"I missed you too, Rinny." He whispered it softy in her ear, and hugged her tightly. A part of her wanted to just stay there, enjoying the current moment. She just wanted to stand there, engulfed in her loving brother's arms that she had missed for so long. However, their hug did have to end, and Rin stepped back to take in her twin's face.

"You haven't changed a bit.." she trailed off. His face was more angular and mature than she remembered him last, but his eyes still perfectly mirrored her cerulean ones.

"You haven't either, Rinny." His fingers stroked her cheek. Rin turned slightly pink at his touch. She had forgotten how comforting she found her brother's sweet gestures.

"Hem-hem."

Rin turned to see her mother sitting in one of the other chairs in the room. She had completely forgotten about her socially awkward mother observing her and her brother's reunion.

"H-hi, mom..." She said, rocking back and forth on her toes slightly. "Um..." She had no idea what to say.

"Hi, Rinny." Her words were simple, but carried an indescribable amount of emotion behind them. "I've missed you, you know... Ann called, and I-I'm really sorry. I should have been a better mother, and I shouldn't have left you on your own like that." As though a dam had broken, the words tumbled from her mouth. "I'll understand if you don't forgive me, I don't deserve to be forgiven..."

"M-mom..." Rin as a little taken aback by her mother's actions. She wasn't expecting an apology. "It's okay... I'm alright. Don't worry about me. I just... hit a bump in the road.." A small smile spread across her mother's face, though it was rather weak.

"You've changed, Rinny." It sounded almost as neutral as most of Yuki's words, and it was impossible to tell if she meant them in a positive or negative way. So Rin decided not to reply.

"Well, of course... what did you expect?" Len said almost exactly what Rin had been thinking, picking up the habit they had all but left behind as they grew up. Rin smiled, glad the bond between them wasn't as severed as she had feared it might be.

"I didn't... I just meant..." Rin was surprised by how different their mother was. She used to be very strong-worded and sure of herself, but seemed to be lost for words at this latest obstacle. A part of Rin felt bad for her mother, but a part also thought she needed to sort herself out and pick up the pieces of herself that had been shattered after her divorce. Not that Rin had been doing a very good job of that either, given her current situation. But another part of Rin still felt hurt by her parents' break up.

"Mom... can I talk to Len for a minute... alone?" Their mother got up and let herself out of the room. Whether she was actually going to leave or was going to stand there with her ear pressed to the door was anyone's guess.

"What did you want to tell me?" Len asked, frowning slightly in concern. Rin looked around, avoiding his eyes.

"N-nothing really, she was just... I don't know. But, um... How've you been?" Len took a step closer and said,

"Why aren't you looking at me?" Rin hadn't realized it was that obvious. She looked again into his cerulean eyes, that so perfectly mirrored her own.

"I'm sorry... I-I don't know..." The conversation was the most awkward that had ever taken place between the two, who were usually so close it was like they had a psychic connection. And not Luka's kind, but like they were connected beyond the bonds of normal people.

Len sat on the uncomfortable-looking couch and patted the empty space next to him. She sat down, not allowing herself to relax enough to lean back against the cushion (or Len...). Len sighed and said,

"I've been talking to Auntie Ann... She said before you left, you had a friend who you spent a lot of time with, and that he was the one who saved..." he trailed off, and Rin finished the sentence with the logical conclusion.

"Yeah, he... he was the one who saved my life. But, um... what about him?" Rin was confused as to why he was bringing up Mikuo as a conversation topic at that moment.

"Nothing, really... She just said..." Rin facepalmed. Their aunt had a rather obnoxious habit of taking fragments of the truth and twisting them, so that by the time she told anyone the same story later, it bore little resemblance to what had really happened.

"Whatever she said, it's probably not true, you know..." Len seemed hesitant to tell her whatever he wanted to say, which was unusual for him, to say the least.

"She just said you two were really close... Ya know..." That was apparently all he was going to say, but Rin got the idea of what he was implying.

"I swear, if another person says they think we're together-or that we _should_ get together-I'm gonna..." Rin couldn't find a threat that quite fit the situation. Also, she assumed the room was most likely bugged, if not being video recorded, and death threats probably wouldn't go over too well with Kiyoteru.

Len seemed to find her outburst to be sufficient proof that the two weren't, in fact, anything more than close friends. "Sorry, I just... had to make sure."

"Make sure of what? I mean, even if we were... _Hypothetically_... I don't see why it would be important." A part of Rin was glad they were having a serious conversation, but there was also a part of her that wished the awkward banter and teasing would come back-it was so much simpler.

"I guess not.. Sorry, Rin." There were a lot of things Rin wanted to say, but she couldn't get her mouth to form any of the words. "So, um, are we allowed to leave here? I wanted to meet some of the people you mentioned, if that's okay."

"I don't see why not... but I don't know who to ask, either. So let's go." They shared a grin. Then the twins then spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around the ward, with Rin eagerly introducing Len to all of her 'friends' (for lack of a better word).

"Oooh, there's two of you?" Gumi said when they passed by, licking her lips in a rather disturbing way. "But, which one should I eat first? Hmm... So hard to choose..." The two quickly made their way to the common area, far away from Gumi. The thing Rin noticed first was that Yuki was sitting with Luka, which was surprising since she hd never seen the two of them together.

Rin walked over, with the intention of introducing Len to them, and maybe playing a game of cards or something. But, by the expression on Luka's face, it was clear that wasn't going to happen.

"Rin," Yuki said in her usual monotone, "Luka said your friend had an accident." Rin looked at Luka, her eyes clearly showing her confusion. Luka looked up, meeting Rin's eyes with her own, which were filled with much more emotion.

"Your boyfriend Mikuo-"

"He's not my boyfriend! Gosh, Luka, you of all people should know that.." I grumbled. Len wondered what on earth that was supposed to mean.

"Anyways, Mikuo-he was in a car crash. He's alive, but they aren't sure what kind of shape he'll be in when he wakes up, _if_ he wakes up."

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A/N: Wasn't that a beautiful ending? I thought it was. Torturing my readers is such fun sometimes. *evil grin* Hey, I have a..

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER**: What do you guys think of making this a Rin x Len fanfic? Not that I'm _necessarily_ going to make it one, but, just, what do you guys think? :)

Leave your answers in the comment section BELOOWW vv* and I'll see you guys next update! :D

**E/N: ****_We_****.**

A/N: _We_ what?

**E/N: ****_We_**** will see them next update. You're not taking all the glory! I know it's your story, but as editor making the final edits, I get to do this. :) *evil face***

A/N: But I still have the power to fire you.

**E/N: ...**

**E/N: I am sorry master! I will do as you bid! DDX**

A/N: Good. Now go get me chocolate.

**E/N: Okay! *turns to face audience* Goodnight everybody! ****_We_**** will see you next update!**

**E/N: ...*scurries off to find chocolate***

*** (raywilliamjohnson reference.. from YouTube.. the best social media network next to ffn! :)**


	13. Chapter 13

A/N- Well, this took a while. Oh well. Nothing interesting to say really, because I'm a not-so-intereseting kind of person (But I'm going to ramble anyway). If anybody cares, I'm writing a one-shot for Sekaiichi Hatsukoi~! Lol, I dunno how it's gonna turn out, since I've never actually written yaoi before... But you can keep an eye out for that, if you want :)

Also, I just recently started watching GAkuen Alice... It's sooo cute :D

I think that's about it... Enjoy~!

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Rin's heart beat faster, and she felt her knees collapse. She sank to the floor in a more-than-ungraceful way,. Not that she cared. She was only vaguely aware of Len next to her-she assumed he was probably reassuring her, but her ears were rushing too loudly with the emotion coursing through her to make sense of it.

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the world-and, more specifically, the devastating news she'd just beed told. She tried to control her thoughts, which were racing around her head in chaotic circles.

_What if he isn't okay? Of course he isn't... stupid... What if he's or gone deaf or __been blinded __or paralyzed or all of the above together? What if she walked in and he didn't even recognize her?_

She shook her head again, this time to clear her mind of her negatively- swirling thoughts. She tried to tell herself that he would be okay, that even if he _was_ a little different after he recovered, she'd still be his friend, she would still be there to support him. Rin was sure of it.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Rin tried to bring herself out of her thoughts and back to reality. It took her a moment to realize it, but Len's hand was gently rubbing her back in soothing circles, his go-to way of making her feel better.

"Is... is he going to be okay?" Rin timidly asked Luka, trusting her opinion on the matter better than anyone else's.

"The doctors are saying they think so, but..." Luka closed her eyes for a moment, then reopened them slowly. "They don't know about certain-ah-_complications_ he's going to have when he wakes up."

Rin struggled to keep her voice normal- pitched as she replied, "W-what's wrong? What's wrong with 'Kuo?"

When Luka didn't answer, Rin felt her whole body begin to shake and she couldn't help the tears that poured forth from her eyes. Len wrapped his arms around her protectively, but it didn't help much.

What she wanted, even though she knew she couldn't have it, was Mikuo's arms around her instead of Len's, comforting her, telling her that everything was going to be okay. Because telling herself wasn't enough. She wanted to see him, needed to know that he was going to be okay.

Len left maybe an hour or so later, but Rin wasn't paying attention to the time. Before he left, their mother came back in to give Rin a quick hug which held no comfort, and then the two turned here backs to her and left. After that, she just walked back to her room in a daze, eyes still puffy and red.

She laid down on her bed and curled herself into a ball, lacking the effort to even pull the blankets over herself. She lost herself to her thoughts for a while, her worries preoccupying every aspect of her being. She had no idea how long she had been laying there when she heard a knock at the door.

She peeled herself off of her bed at opened the door, slightly surprised to see Luka standing there.

"Rin... I'm sorry." Rin was thoroughly confused by the pink-haired girl's words.

"For what?" She inquired.

"I think what I said earlier-well, I think I could have phrased it better..." Rin was slightly cheered up by this statement-maybe Mikuo wasn't injured too badly? But then, the doctors would know about whatever complication could have occurred. So what was it...?

"Well... he's still unconscious, but... he'll make a full recovery, I think you'll be glad to hear."

"But then, what was it that you said the doctors didn't know about?"

Luka's brows drew a bit closer together.

"Well, you see... he has... amnesia." Rin's eyes widened, and she felt tears coming to them yet again.

"But... then..." Rin had no idea how to but her feelings into words.

"He'll still remember you, I wouldn't worry about that, Rin. There'll just be... spots missing, I guess." Rin allowed a small smile of relief of appear, if only for a moment. Although it was far from a perfect situation, that most recent development was much better than she had previously dared to hope.

"I'm so glad..." Those words weren't even close to expressing her emotion, but they were as close as she could get without bursting into tears again. (She was a mess, she knew, but her emotions had been plucked and played with all day long.) "But-" Another problem had just occurred to Rin.

"That they won't let you out of here to see him?" Luka finished for her. "I don't know. They might, if they decide it would help you recover. But if they don't think it would be beneficial to you, then they won't. I'd recommend you find a good way of showing them that you need to see him." Rin nodded, determined to find some way of convincing Kiyoteru (Or Kaito, whichever she saw first) that she needed to get out for long enough to see Mikuo.

"I'm sure you can do it-persuade them, I mean. And then, you'll probably be that much closer to getting out. I mean, you're already a lot closer than the rest of us, but..." Rin nodded firmly.

"I will."

Rin's dream that night did the exact opposite of reflect her emotions about the whole ordeal. She and Mikuo were sitting in an empty field, under a lone tree in the vast expanse of grassy field. She was wearing a pure-white dress, and he was wearing jeans and a button- down shirt. It was a vivid dream, and the peacefulness of the dream succeeded in making her feel much calmer and more relaxed when she woke up the next morning.

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A/N-My note at the beginning was really long... Oh, well. Review? I need some author food :)


	14. Chapter 14

A/N- Yay, an update :) I've been typing this a few chapters ahead, so this was sitting on my computer and not actually uploaded for a while... Oh, well. I'm updating now. :D I feel like all of my authors' notes are pretty much the same, and all really boring. Sorry. I'll try to be a more interesting person XD

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Rin was seated in her usual spot across from Kiyoteru, who she was seeing since apparently she needed 'support and some time with normal surroundings', or whatever it was Kaito had said when she'd shown up in his office earlier that morning.

"Um... I was wondering..." Rin desperately needed to ask her question, but couldn't make herself form the words. Kiyoteru smiled in his rather-creepy all-knowing therapist way before saying,

"Does this have something to do with the accident Mikuo was in?" Rin nodded, and tried again to voice her inquiry.

"Well... Luka said that maybe you guys would let me go and see him- in the hospital, I mean. But, um, I'm not really sure if..." He spoke again, but didn't exactly answer her question.

"Rin, remember what we said before about talking with confidence?" Rin nodded. Kiyoteru had been working on having her talk in a more certain way, since half of what she said had 'um...,' 'well,' or 'you see' somewhere in it. And the other half of what she said was conversation with Mikuo. "Could you ask that again, please?" Rin nodded.

"I was talking to Luka, and she said that maybe I would get to go visit Mikuo in the hospital- If that was okay?" Rin, it seemed, was incapable of forming a self- confident sentence. Kiyoteru sighed with mild frustration.

"I see..." he pushed his glasses up his nose. If Rin hadn't been so nervous about his answer, she would have wondered why everyone who wore glasses seemed to have a habit of doing that.

"I'll have to talk to some of the other staff first, of course, and probably your mother or aunt as well... But, you've been getting better, and I don't see why they'd say no." Rin was tempted to jump up from her seat and dance around the room, but she restrained herself.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Her voice was more cheerful than it had been since she arrived at St. Mark's, and Kiyoteru couldn't help but let a grin spread across his own lips as well.

"You know, Rin, we on staff have been talking, and have decided that we could use visiting your friend as a test, of sorts, to see if you're ready to get out of here-permanently." Rin's mouth dropped open.

"R-really? So... I actually might be getting out?" It had occurred to her that she would leave at some point, of course, but it seemed so soon-and yet, she realized she had been there for about a month. It was weird, how fast time was slipping by...

"Oh, and Rin?" Kiyoteru made direct eye contact with her, his glasses lenses flashing. "I hope your friend is okay." Rin nodded, appreciating the words of encouragement and sympathy.

"I heard your friend got hurt." Yuki said, in her usual just-stating-facts tone. Rin nodded quickly.

"Yes, Mikuo was in a car crash. I'm probably going to go visit him soon, and I might not come back here after that." Yuki's mouth opened slightly. It wasn't shock _exactly, _but it was the closest thing to it that Rin had ever seen on her.

"You won't come back." Rin wasn't sure if it was a question, or if Luka had been rubbing off on her and she was simply stating facts. Either way, the definite way the young girl spoke was a bit disconcerting.

"Well, maybe not, but I'm not sure. There's a chance I'm still going to end up back here, you know." Yuki nodded in blank comprehension.

"Oh." Apparently even after all of the time she'd spent in therapy, she was still completely unable to express more than just the faintest amount of emotion.

"Well, it's almost lunch time. Wanna come eat with me today?" Yuki nodded once.

About ten minutes later, the two girls were seated at a table on their own, eating their cold-cut sandwiches. Yuki, Rin noted, had simply picked up the sandwich that was closest, not even looking to see what was inside before putting it on her tray. Were her taste buds as unfeeling as the rest of her?

It was an unimportant detail, probably, but Rin wondered if she was the only one who had noticed this trait. She decided that, even if only to her, the silence was rather awkward.

"Hey, Yuki, how long have you been here?" It had only just occurred to her that she had never asked before.

"A year and eight months." Rin's eyes widened; she had no idea that Yuki had been there for so long. She could't imagine it, spending that long in the dull building that had been her temporary home for about a month. Already, she was starting to get a bit tired of it.

"Don't you get bored? Or lonely?" Rin hadn't seen Yuki spend time with anyone but herself since she arrived, and could only assume she'd been alone most of the time before Rin got there.

"I don't get bored." Rin felt rather insensitive, since Yuki _obviously_ wouldn't feel boredom. She shook her head quickly and said,

"S-sorry, I forgot..."

"I'm not going to get mad either." Yuki said, "But, it's okay." Rin recognized that Yuki had used that phrase a few times before, and was now almost certain that it had meaning beyond what most people would assume.

Before she could ponder that too much further, however, Kiyoteru entered the lunch room. Rin watched him lazily as he made his way over, and it only occurred to her that he might have the answer as to whether or not she could visit Mikuo after he stopped next to her table.

"I asked around, and the staff said that you can visit your friend in the hospital. All you have to do now is find a parent or guardian who can escort you." Rin nodded, assuming her mother or aunt would agree to do so. "Oh, and you'll be accompanied by a member of the staff, most likely myself." Rin nodded again, he mind numbed by the news.

She was going to go and see Mikuo! Even though she would have to be baby-sat by Kiyoteru and her mother. But she was going to get out, she was going to see him! For the second time that day, she had to hold back from jumping up and down on the spot. Kiyoteru left a minute later, and Rin could see a smile yet again- probably at how childish she was being, but she didn't really care at the current moment. Her upcoming freedom was much more important.

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A/N- So, yeah... Rin gets to visit Kuo ^^ That should be interesting, right?

**E/N- "Interesting"? It should be fluffy and angsty and amazing and-**

A/N- Shaddup! You're gonna give stuff away T.T

**E/N- And? Maybe the readers want a cliffhanger!** **  
**A/N- This isn't even the chapter anymore. If you wanted to add one you should have done it yourself.

**E/N- Whatever. But the readers should review!**

A/N- They know the drill by now :) Reviews= author food and all that~


	15. Chapter 15

A/N- GAHHH! This has been sitting in my email for a while, and I just realized I forgot about it until now! Sorry...

By the way, my friend Emio Shira and I wrote a one-shot for Sekaiichi Hatsukoi! You should check it out. It's pretty awesome, if I do say so myself :) And we're working on a Gakupo X Kaito one-shot next, you can look forward to that in about two-ish weeks, I think. Depending on how long it takes my editor to read it... You're awesome, Moonflower121 :)

So, yeah, chapter fifteen... That's a big number... I feel accomplished :)

Enjoy the chapter~

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Four days later, Rin found herself in the back of a plain white car, with the St. Mark's logo on the side. Kiyoteru was sitting in the front, and a peaceful silence filled the car. Her mother had agreed to visit the hospital with her, and she assumed Len would be coming as well, although she wasn't sure.

Her suitcase of all the things she had brought with her was in the trunk, if she was deemed ready to go home at the end of the day. Somehow, she doubted she would be, although she wasn't sure why.

For the entire car ride, Rin was alert and anxious, her fear that Mikuo wasn't really fine flooding back into her mind. It was stupid, she knew, but all of the pent-up nervousness inside had her digging her nails into her arms to the point that it was sure to leave bruises.

By the time they finally, _finally _reached the hospital, Rin was so anxious that she jumped out of the car almost before it had completely stopped. The few people who were making their way to or from their cars were clearly startled by her definitely less-than-sane appearance. Rin wondered vaguely how her therapists thought this was even a remotely good idea. All she had gotten out of the experience so far was a severe case of nerves and bruised arms. But the thought was quickly replaced by more worries about her dearest friend.

Kiyoteru grabbed her arm, probably to catch her before she ran out into oncoming traffic and said,

"Rin, you need to relax. I know you're nervous, but they say it causes the patients a lot of stress to see their visitors upset." Rin nodded. "Also, I know that in this particular situation, Mikuo would hate to see _you_ so worked up over it." Rin didn't respond to that, since she had just spotted her mother's car across the parking lot.

Kiyoteru ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, before following after his charge. What felt like a ridiculously long time later, Rin, her mother, and Kiyoteru had been checked into the hospital and taken the slow ride on the rickety elevator. They'd had to be authorized as being allowed to visit, and were now standing outside the door. Rin had asked if the other two could wait in the hallway, and after a bit of discussion, they had agreed.

Rin pushed the door open, and apprehension coursed through her. Even if she had been insanely excited to see him, now a part of her wanted to turn and run. She was still fighting this sudden battle when a hoarse, yet still painfully familiar voice said,

_"Rin?" _ The blonde was pulled out of her stupor, and forced to look towards the bed. It was Mikuo and yet it _wasn't_; it was more like somebody had tried to create a robot that looked exactly like him. The multitude of wires and monitors puncturing his skin weren't helping the image.

But no, it wasn't some robot, or some cheap trick. This was Kuo. _Her _Kuo.

And it was clear that he was in a lot of pain. She walked slowly over, feeling oddly numb as though she was in a dream. Except, this wasn't a dream, and there he was lying before her. She stood there and stared for a while, before startled out of her daze by a familiar pressure on her hand. Her first instinct was to jump, but she didn't.

"R-Rin, I... I'm sorry." His voice, again, sounded like death itself. But, what was he apologizing for?

"Don't be-you don't have to be sorry for anything, 'Kuo." He squeezed her hand a bit tighter. She scrambled through her thoughts frantically for a new conversation topic, but he said,

"You're the only thing I remember..." Rin was sure she must have heard him wrong. She shook her head quickly and said,

"W-what? What do you mean, I'm the only thing you remember?" She felt a sharp sting behind her eyes and knew that tears weren't far behind.

"I mean-" he stroked the back of her hand with his thumb, as though she was the one who needed comfort and reassurance instead of him. "You're really the only thing I remember. Everything else is so hazy..."

No. No, no, no. _Nonononono_. No! This wasn't right. She felt a tear stream down her cheek, then another, until she was full-out sobbing. She sank to her knees, holding onto his arm as though it was a lifeline. She could hear him trying to talk, but her ears were too full of the sound of her own crying to tell what he was trying to say.

He gently pried his arm out of her death grip, and stroked her hair. His hand, even now, still felt strong, reassuring, and comforting. He waited patiently for her to calm down, running his fingers through her soft hair. When she finally lifted her head, her eyes were swollen and her whole face was red.

"Rin..." She looked up at him, trying to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"I'm s-sorry, I just... I don't know..." He smiled slightly.

"I've missed you..." he said, "It's like, as soon as I woke up, and I knew that I had to see you. That's normal, right?" It was her turn to smile then-not because her mood had lifted, but because she knew that, no matter how much had changed, Mikuo was still the same Mikuo he had always been. And she hoped that would always stay the same. Forever and always.

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A/N- According to my editor, I could end the story here. But I won't! I've got many more twists and turns in store for all of them, so don't worry, it's not over yet! See you guys next update :) And remember... I need author food :)


	16. Chapter 16

A/N- Sorry it took so long to update! It's Moonflower121's fault! Mostly!

So... did you miss me? *suggestive wink*

Anywho... Thanks to Moonflower121 for _finally_ editing and my laptop is dying so this is going to be a short A/N :)

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He couldn't remember anything else- it was all shifting, moving beneath the surface of something murky and dull that he couldn't figure out how to break through. He could imagine her- and he did, constantly, filling his mind's eye with her likeness, terrified that the image of her would fade away, too, like the rest of the world.

He wasn't sure where everything else had gone- there was a vague feeling of something missing, and he assumed it had something to do with the fact that she was the only thing, besides his current surrounding, that he could picture. That wasn't normal... Not that he had any idea what was, anymore.

When he had first awakened, he had completely panicked. He didn't recognize his surroundings, any of the uniformed people around him- But what scared him most of all was that he didn't even know he _would_ recognize. Except Rin; he knew he could spot her from a mile away.

But she wasn't there. There were nurses surrounding him from the moment he first woke up. Or he assumed that they were nurses, at least. It was the first word that came to mind to describe these lab coat-wearing people, and something about it sounded right.

There were six of them, if he was counting correctly. Or maybe there were only three, and he was having double vision? No, there were six. As soon as he made this vague observation, one of them had glanced over and noticed that his eyes had opened.

Once the nurses had been assured that he wasn't suddenly going to drop dead, one left, and returned a moment later with a man who was older, and somehow exuded seniority. The nurses filed out, and the man- a doctor?- took the seat in a chair next to him.

"How do you feel, Mikuo Hatsune?" He had asked, and Mikuo's eyebrows had crept together in confusion. _Oh, right... Mikuo. That was his name, right?_

_"_Like I was hit by a truck," he replied truthfully, and the doctor chuckled, apparently finding that amusing.

"Well, that's appropriate, I suppose, given what happened." Mikuo was even more confused by that.

"Why can't I remember anything?" the words sounded more panicked than he intended, and the doctor frowned.

"Ah... We thought this might happen."

"But what _did _happen? Why is everything so fuzzy?" The doctor sighed, but not in irritation.

"According to what bystanders said, your car was hit by a pickup truck from the side with the passenger seat. Apparently, you hit your head, and that amount of blunt trauma can result in amnesia. This, unfortunately, is what we think has happened to you." Well, that explained the nauseating pulse in his skull and why his whole body ached dully.

Forget hit by a truck, he felt like he had been run over by a train.

Twice.

And then trampled by elephants.

Again, an image of the blonde girl rose to the front of his thoughts. Rin. He felt a wave of panic crash over him.

_Where was she? Had she been in the car as well? Why wasn't she there?_

"Where's Rin?" Mikuo blurted out, and an expression of confusion crossed the man's features.

"Pardon?" Mikuo didn't understand how the man could be so calm when it was so clear there was something _wrong_.

"Rin Kagamine-" He loved the way her name felt on his tongue "-where is she?"

"Hmm, I'm not sure who you're talking about-"

"Dammit..." Mikuo swore, cutting him off. "She's... she's the only thing I remember, I think. And..." He heard the heart monitor next to him speed up, and his head throbbed sickeningly.

A moment later, a stabbing pain entered his arm and he felt himself instantly begin to relax- he looked over to see the doctor holding a needle he had procured from _somewhere_, and a small bubble of blood forming on his arm.

"You need to relax. Now, you say you remember her?" Mikuo's first instinct was to nod, but given his headache he assumed that wasn't a good idea, so he simply said, "Yeah."

"Do you remember how you met her?" Mikuo sorted through his empty mind.

"At school, maybe? I'm not sure..."

"Would your family know her? Like, would they be able to contact her for you?" _Contacting her... He had an odd feeling that he usually called her on the phone..._

"I don't even know who my family _is_!" He struggled to make himself calm down again.

"Well, I believe your parents went to get something to eat, since they've been here all day, but your sister is still here. Would you like to see her?"

_"I have a sister?" _

"...Miku's come by and talked to me every day, and my parents too, so they've filled me in on some stuff- and some people look a little familiar, like in pictures, but I can never place where from. It's a little disconcerting, but they say if I can get some key things from... before, then maybe more of my memories will come back." Rin listened intently to Mikuo's short speech before saying,

"Have you remembered anything else yet...?" Mikuo sighed.

"It's hard to say. Because sometimes, a scene will play through my head- But I can never tell if it's a real memory, or something my mind is just making up. Like... a weird memory-thing of you being an assassin who was supposed to kill me." Rin laughed at that.

"No, that one's fake. I would never kill you, don't worry." She smiled, although it was clear that he had been seriously worried.

"Kuo..." Her voice was suddenly serious. "Out of everyone, why was it you? I mean... There's millions- billions- of people, but it was _you..._" She took a deep, shuddering breath. "I don't even know if that makes sense, but-"

Mikuo smiled slightly. "It does, I think. And I don't know why it was me... But it's better that it was me than someone else, because otherwise someone else would be suffering." Before Rin could reply, could tell him that was the exact stupid kind of thing he would have said before, there was a knock at the door.

*Insert Transition scene I don't feel like writing*

"Rin..." Kiyoteru spoke softly, trying to get her attention. "Look at me, please." Rin didn't move from her bent-over position, slouching in a chair in the hospital's waiting area. She was looking down at her wrist, and rubbing it over and over with her opposite thumb.

"Rin, it's not that we think you're a danger to others, or anything like that. It's just that you could still use some more time to recover, and now with Mikuo's condition-"

"No." It wasn't Rin who answered, but her mother. Her soft-spoken, usually irritating mother. "No. I know I've screwed up as a mother more than a few times, but I can't let you take her. She's my baby girl, and I won't let you take her away from me again."

Rin lifted her head slightly, enough to look over at her mother with tired eyes, wrought with disbelief. _This woman, who had shipped her off to her aunt, who had ignored her and not ever really cared about her, actually wanted her to stay?"_

"Ma'am, she has to come back with me. I called them there, and I tried my best to pull a few strings, but I risk losing my job if I don't take her back. I'm sorry."

Rin's nails gripped her knees, to the point that a few droplets of blood poked out from beneath them. Perhaps she was still more insane than she thought, because at that moment she had an animalistic urge to punch something, to run, to fight, to scream until her throat was raw.

But, she managed to restrain herself, and felt Kiyoteru's gentle fingers attempt to loosen her death grip on her knees, which now had trickles of blood going down them.

"You see, Rin, this is why they're... hesitant to let you go home. You need to relax, and rest. Okay?" The words were there- she half-heard them- but they didn't register in her mind.

"Rin..." Her eyes blurred over with tears for the second time that day, and she refused to look up. She knew he wasn't helping her case, but she desperately needed to let out her emotions. Everything that had been 'going away' and been coped with over the past month came flooding back to the surface.

"No." She didn't know who or what she was denying, but it felt right to say it, somehow. "No. No, I don't want to go back, I just want to go _home_. I just.. want.. out..." It was clear that she 'wanted out' of more than just St. Mark's Asylum. She wanted out of the whole situation. She wanted Mikuo back, wanted her parents back, wanted Len back to hold her close and tell her everything was going to be alright.

A tear trailed down her cheek, followed quickly by another, until she was full-out sobbing for the third time. Combined with her blue sweater, light blonde hair, and her red cheeks and eyes, she looked like a collage of primary colors, clashing together to form the quivering girl.

It was pitiful, to say the least, and any bystander would say that she desperately needed someone to hold her close, whisper soothing nothings in her ear, run their fingers through her hair, and tell her that everything was going to be alright, until a weak smile could cross her mouth. But she didn't have that person, not then. She would have to hold on for a little longer, and keep herself up without needing anyone else at least until things calmed down.

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A/N- ^_^ I hope you liked the chappie~ If anyone cares, I'm going to be editing for cradle2grave now :) So, yeah, should be fun! Even though the story is yuri and I can't exactly say I'm experienced with it, I'm going to try my best with it ^^ I hope I'll be able to update sooner next time, and remember:

Reviews are author food! I need author food! Don't make me starve, okay? :)


	17. Chapter 17

A/N- It's taken me forever to update, I know :P Sorry about that, it's my editor's fault, I swear- I have up to chapter 20 typed already. Actually, she didn't look over this chapter, so I'm sorry for any mistakes there might be. And really, I hope it won't be that long between updates again, especially since my chapters are so short already.

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When the St. Mark's car pulled up to the building, Rin got out slowly, as though by remaining there she could cling t her hope of going home. She returned to her room quickly to put her belongings away, then made her way to the common area, her urge to confide in her twin suddenly overwhelming.

She dialed his number, and he picked up after a couple of rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Len... What's up?"

"Not important- How's Mikuo? You visited him today, right?"

"Oh... He was..." Rin sighed, unsure how to tell him what had happened. "He has amnesia, and... he forgot about e-everything but... but..." For some reason, she couldn't bring herself to say it, and stopped mid- sentence.

"Everything but what, Rinny?" His voice was calm and reassuring, but held concern and curiosity as well.

"Everything but... me." Her voice was soft and wavering, as if she hadn't truly accepted Mikuo's condition until she said it out loud to her twin.

"Rin, I-" Len couldn't even begin to think of a way to comfort her, and a silence hung between them.

"I... I could've maybe come home today, but I- I couldn't stand seeing him like that, and I just-" She wasn't sure what she was trying to say, really- there were too many thoughts floating around in her head to form coherent sentences.

"It's okay, Rinny..." Somehow, Len seemed to know instinctively that those were words she needed to hear. "Even if you didn't get to go home, it's not like you're going to be there forever- I'm sure you'll be back here before you know it, okay? And... I'm always here to talk, you know that, right?"

"Y-yeah... Thanks, Len." Somehow, just hearing that she had a shoulder to cry on if she needed it was reassuring.

"And Rin? I just... I really hope everything turns out okay. For both of you." Rin wasn't sure how to reply, so she settled on a muted,

"Thanks, Len..."

"Just... come home soon, okay?" Rin couldn't think of any way to respond, and nodded, before realizing that he couldn't see her through the phone.

"Yeah... I hope I do..." she said goodbye to Len soon after that, and just as she was resting the ancient phone back in its cradle, Yuki appeared in the doorway of the nearly-empty room, which she noticed with a start was occupied by only herself and a couple of the other people who seemed to always be scattered throughout the building, the ones who were really and truly insane. And, now, Yuki.

"You came back." It was a monotone statement, not that Rin really expected much else. But maybe, if she wasn't imagining it, there was a slight amount of accusation in her voice? She wasn't, however, particularly in the mood to notice it.

"Yeah, I'm back- for a while, at least. C'mon, Yuki, et's get dinner." The smaller girl followed after her like a ghost, and rin made her way to the the mess hall. There wasn't any conversation between them, that, too, was to be expected from her.

Rin selected her food with about as much opinion as Yuki did, and had almost made her way to a table on her own when she heard a voice call out,

"Hey, Rin! Wanna come sit with us?" Rin recognized Teto's voice immediately, and looked over to see her sitting at a table with Luka and Gumi, who had finished her food and was gnawing on her cup.

Rin, deciding that refusing would only be rude, took the seat next to Luka, leaving Yuki to fill in between her and Gumi.

"So... how was your friend?" Teto asked, her tone caring but also genuinely curious.

"He, um..." RIn looked to the older pink-haired girl, silently asking for assistance.

"You want me to tell them?" Rin nodded- she felt as though if she was forced to say it aloud any more, it would be even more completely set in stone that he was gone, and his memories wouldn't come back.

"Well, he forgot... everything, almost. Except for her. I'm... I'm sorry, Rin." Teto and Gumi nodded in solemn agreement. Rin looked down and nodded at her food, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. The others at the table seemed to accept that something else had happened that she didn't want to talk about, otherwise she wouldn't have returned to St. Mark's.

But Luka had told them exactly the bare minimum that they needed to know, for which Rin was thankful- If she really was psychic, then she also managed to have an incredible sensitivity to people's emotions as well.

Later that night, once Teto had fallen asleep, Rin got out of her bed and started wandering through the halls of the ward- she knew she wasn't technically allowed to, but there was no way she was ever going to get any sleep with all of the pent- up stress and energy she still had.

Surprisingly, she didn't encounter any guards or even any other patients, and was glad that her solitude continued for longer than she had though it would. Then, quite suddenly, she heard a bloodcurdling scream which was undeniably familiar...

... _Yuki?_

Rin was shocked, and raced in the direction of the noise. She realized then that she had no idea where Yuki's room was, but neither did she know where she was anymore, either. She continued running through more hallways than she thought the ward even contained until she stopped outside a room with the door slightly ajar, where muted sobs were clearly audible.

And, the voice was undeniably Yuki's- though, she was clearly screaming with more emotion than Rin would have ever though possible for the emotionless girl. She pushed the door open, and her eyes widened in shock to see the young girl was laying in her bed, twisted up in the blankets, clearly having a nightmare.

And there- next to her, kneeling on the floor and clearly trying to either calm her down or wake her up, was _Kiyoteru?_

The entire situation made no real sense to Rin's exhausted mind, and she was glad that Kiyoteru hadn't noticed her enter. She watched as he stroked her hair, whispered to her to wake up, it was only a dream...

Yuki's eyes flew suddenly open, and the contortion of fear and screaming relaxed immediately back to her normal expressionless lack of emotion. She then looked to Rin, who was still frozen from confusion, and said,

"Lin?" Rin was thoroughly taken aback, but that thought was pushed back as Kiyoteru turned slowly around and finally saw her standing there. Rin looked away, knowing she was going to be in trouble for being out of bed so late, wandering around.

"Ah, Rin... I suppose this warrants an explanation?"

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A/N- I know, I keep going back to Yuki's character... But she's pretty interesting, right? I hoped so, at least. Anyway, remember: Reviews=author food. Author food= faster updates. Faster updates=happier readers. :)


	18. Chapter 18

A/N- Hey guys :) I don't really have much to say about this one, really... Thanks as always to moonflower121 for editing (I know, I still owe you chocolate :P)

On an unrelated, advertising-myself note... I have a story for Junjou Romantica now ^^ If you guys have watched it, maybe you could be awesome and go check it out? Maybe? *End Lizzy-advertising-herself time :)*

Hope you guys enjoy the chapter~

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"So Rin, as I'm sure you know, Yuki is a bit of a special case." Kiyoteru explained, "Emotionlessness is a rather unusual symptom, so it's hard to diagnose and to treat." Both Rin and Kiyoteru were standing in the hallway outside of Rin's room, and Kiyoteru was trying to explain what exactly was wrong with Yuki.

"We did a thorough investigation of everything in her past, and it turned up that she's been rather brutally abused by her much-older sister." Rin was surprised to hear this, she'd always just assumed that Yuki had been born without any emotion-but to hear that someone had actually _caused this_?

"She has... a sister?" Kiyoteru nodded in mute response.

"Of course, her sister can't exactly be prosecuted for anything, since all it _supposedly_ was was bullying Yuki when she was younger-but regardless of what she can actually be accused of, she left her younger sister with so much mental scarring, she refuses to show any emotion."

"Is... is her sister's name Lin? Because that's what she said, when she woke up-"

"You heard that too? Yes, her sister's name is Lin. And besides her name being similar to yours, her appearance bears a striking resemblance to yours as well. To the point that we thought she'd have a panic attack when you first got here. But then, the unexpected happened. She actually allowed you to befriend her."

Rin took a moment to let all of the new information soak in, trying to get a feel for the situation. "But, if she still has nightmares, doesn't that mean she still feels emotion?"

"Rin, we don't know-the brain is a complicated thing, and since no two are ever exactly the same, it's difficult to figure out what could be wrong. But rest assured, we're doing everything we can to help her. And... I'm really not supposed to be telling anyone this, so if you could kindly refrain from telling anyone about this whole thing?"

Rin nodded-her body was tired from the day's many stresses of visiting the hospital, but her mind was still buzzing with activity and new information.

"You should really go to bed now, okay, Rin? It's getting late-" he glanced at the watch on his wrist, "-Geez, it's _really_ late. I'll see you tomorrow morning, alright?" Rin nodded again, once, before letting herself into her room, and stumbling over to her bed.

Although she was still mentally preoccupied, Rin's physical exhaustion caught up with her, and she fell asleep in a matter of minutes.

* * *

Rin woke up the next morning to a soft but steady knocking on the door. Her first thought was that if she just rolled over and ignored it, the person would stop and she could go back to sleep. However, as the noise continued, Rin finally dragged herself out of bed to open the door.

As it turned out, it was one of the younger kids from a couple of rooms down that _insisted_ he was knocking on his own room, and he had just broken his room key.

Once Rin had directed him back to his room, she noticed that Teto wasn't there. A quick glance at the clock told her she had slept in far longer than normal, and she scrambled to get ready so that she would have time to get breakfast before she had to go see Kiyoteru.

Rin managed to make it to her therapist's office right on time, although she hadn't had time to grab more than a piece of buttered toast and a banana for breakfast. (Len's preference, not hers, but it was all that she had time to grab). Her shirt was on backwards, and the bow on her head was tied sloppily atop half-combed hair.

"Well, I'm glad to see you made it," Kiyoteru said, a light smile playing at his lips as he gestured for her to take a seat.

"Yeah..." Rin sat down on the ouch across from him, "Sorry, I kinda slept in." It was then that she noticed although he'd been up at least as late as she had, his hair was neatly combed and his shirt was as neatly ironed as usual. The only indication he hadn't gotten a full night's sleep was slight circles under her eyes, but even those weren't very noticeable.

"Don't worry about it-you were up until what, two o'clock this morning?" Rin shrugged wearily. "Anyways, how do you feel?"

"About what?" Kiyoteru shrugged.

"Anything and everything. But, if you want me to be more specific, how do you feel about Mikuo's situation?" Rin paused, thinking of an answer.

"Stressed... I guess, because I don't know if he'll get the rest of his memories back. But maybe concerned, too." Somehow, neither of those felt like the right word.

"Even though the doctors said he'd be okay, and most likely recover his memory?" Rin nodded once, slowly.

"Are you worried he won't be the same person he was before?" Kiyoteru's voice held a relaxing tone, one that always told Rin she could trust him with anything.

She thought for a moment before replying,

"I guess it could be that, but... I guess it's more that he's always so strong and... protective, maybe, of me that... with him being the one who's hurt, I feel like I can't do anything to help him."

The discussion continued for the rest of the session, making more progress than she would normally make in three-being able to put her emotions into words, and accept things for what they were. By the time lunch arrived, Rin felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from her chest, and she was in a better mood than she had been since before she had originally heard about Mikuo's accident.

She helped herself to a large green salad for lunch, then went to find Teto so that they could go to Spanish. Somehow, it felt like it had been forever since she had been able to fall into her normal routine, and being able to was somehow relaxing.

Although she was still worried about Mikuo, and the possibility of him not regaining his memories, it somehow felt like a much smaller possibility now that she had talked out all of her feelings, and she was glad that the only challenge she would have to deal with for the rest of the day was Spanish verb conjugation.

And even that wasn't too bad, really-Rin's mood picked up considerably, and it would in fact continue to stay that way for the next week. But, had she known what was to come, maybe Rin would not have enjoyed her week of being carefree quite so much.

* * *

A/N- For some reason, I thought the characterization was really good with this one. Just me? Okay then... (It feels weird to say I actually liked it XD)

We're, like, 2 reviews away from getting to 40. Holy fudge, guys. You guys are awesome :)

Anywho... Reviews. Reviews are good. Especially nice, long, detailed reviews that tell me what you liked, what I need to fix, stuff like that... y'know. Not that you should feel /obligated/ or anything. ;)


	19. Chapter 19

A/N- Sorry it took me a forever and a half to upload this... I'm apparently not as good at balancing three ongoing stories as I thought I would be OTL

Anywho... This one has kind of a loft of gore. So, if you don't like blood... Read it anyway and tell me what you thought :)

I'm hoping the next update will be sooner, I've already written up to Chapter 21 so that should make uploading faster. (Hopefully)

* * *

It had been nearly a week since Rin's visit to see Mikuo, and she was starting to worry. The rational part of her told her that he was probably fine, but the less-rational part was saying that no news was probably bad news-someone would have contacted her if he made progress, right?

She wanted to talk to him, but wasn't sure how. He probably wasn't home, but she also wasn't sure if he would have his cell phone at the hospital with him. She decided it wouldn't hurt to try, and dialed his number into the old phone in the common area.

It rang only a few times before someone picked up, and Rin's heart skipped a beat before she heard, "Hello?" from the other end of the line.

It was decidedly not Mikuo's voice. However, unless he had suddenly gone through some reverse-puberty that made his voice sound exactly like his younger sister's, Rin was pretty sure she was talking to Miku.

"Um, hi... Miku?" Rin asked unsurely, not positive that her guess was correct.

"Yeah, what's up, Rin?"Rin sighed, wanting to be able to talk to Mikuo like they used to, only weeks ago. She pushed the thought away before asking, "I was just wondering... how's your brother doing?" It came out sounding a lot more forceful and _desperate _than she had intended for it to.

"You sound so worried, Rin!" Miku almost laughed a little, which Rin thought had to be a good sign. "He's doing much better, really-well, physically, at least. He still only remembers little snippets of things."Rin let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"That's really good, then! When's he getting out of the hospital?"

"Yeah, they're saying tomorrow or the next day, so long as everything stays stable until then." Rin hadn't expected him to have been doing _that_ well, and felt a weight lift from her chest. She didn't say anything, but it was clear that Miku could tell how she was feeling.

"Yeah, we're all really glad he's getting better so fast!" Miku paused for a moment, before saying, "Rin?" her voice was suddenly giddy with excitement over something,

"Do you know what your name is in Kuo's phone?"

"Um, what do you mean?" She'd assumed it was either 'Rin' or maybe 'Rin Kagamine' or possibly even 'Rinny'. What else would it be?

"Well, it's 'Rin'-" Miku seemed really eager to tell her, for some reason, "-with a little heart next to it!" Miku sounded thoroughly over excited about this.

"Wait... really?" Rin was surprised much more than her almost whispery tone of voice let on.

"Yes, really! There's a little less-than three heart next to your name!" Although normally Rin would have been either pleasantly surprised or downright curious, it now held a bittersweet feeling.

Even if maybe there's been a slight chance he liked her before (it felt weird even thinking about it) there was no way, after everything that happened, he could still possibly feel the same way-everything was so incredibly complicated, and the fact that he couldn't even remember when his own birthday was made her more sure that whether he'd liked her or not before, there was no way it was the same now.

He only knew her by appearance anyway- there was no way whatever he'd felt before the accident would still be there. Or did he remember more than he was letting on? But, he would have no motivation to do that...

"Rin?" Miku's voice startled her out of her downward-spiraling train of thought.

"Y-yeah? Sorry..."

"I have to go- but how about I have Kuo call you? When he gets out, y'know..." Clearly, she had to try very hard to pretend she wasn't as worried about Mikuo as the rest of them.

"Okay, thanks. That would be great. ...Talk to you later, Miku." The tealette hung up the other line with a faint click, and Rin stumbled over to take a seat on the common area's couch. After everything that had happened over the past few months, now romantic feelings were getting added into the mix?

Ever since her first and only attempt at suicide, Rin had never felt the urge to harm herself as a vent for emotion-now, however, she felt an itching need to do so. It definitely wasn't a healthy urge, she knew, and she was deeply startled by her own thought.

She pulled up the sleeve of her sweater on the opposite wrist from the one that was already scarred. Feeling an almost inhuman urge to do so, Rin grabbed onto her arm, nails digging into her own soft flesh. She felt a dampness beneath her grip and released it slowly, seeing that small bubbles of blood were seeping up from each of the four marks, the one from her thumb being on the other side of her arm.

She watched in fascination as the droplets got too large to hold themselves together, and one by one dripped down, leaving brilliant scarlet streaks until they reached the ends of her extended fingertips, before lazily dripping to the carpet below.

Somehow, the droplets of blood reminded her of herself. Little things accumulated- her parents divorce, Len leaving with Neru- until finally, things had swelled much more rapidly with Mikuo's accident, and the emotional roller-coaster that followed.

Well, to complete that analogy, there had to be some kind of 'burst', right? Something that could explode, dissipate, dribble down until the original, fragile droplet was nowhere to be seen.

Rin thought her little analogy was surprisingly accurate-slowly, everything had been building up and putting pressure on her in more ways than anyone should have to deal with, and the continued stress was taking its toll. Like now-her arms were clinging to previously-smooth skin yet again, creating divots in her forearm as she watched the trails fall, running over her skin before falling to the faded carpet below, soaking into it until there was a small puddle of it.

It faintly registered in her mind that blood was particularly hard to wash out when it got on things, but at that moment the notion wasn't very important to her. She knew someone would find her eventually, and wonder what had happened, why she was sitting in her own blood and watching as it dripped down to the floor, soaking it until the room was stained forever red.

She twisted her nails painfully, watching in fascination as the blood flow increased until the spot below her hand was a monochrome of iron-scented red, the many previously-separate rivulets of blood combining and leaking down her forearm, mimicking the flow of the rapidly-emptying veins just below the surface of her skin.

She moved her nails a bit further down her arm to an undamaged piece of skin, her fingernails once again digging into her flesh, watching in a distorted fascination as the blood flow increased yet again, and she felt herself begin to go numb-her head was light, the room was spinning.

Faces were swirling before her, Len morphing into Neru, who turned into Yuki before fusing into Kuo.

She tried to reach out for him, to ask him for help or at least an explanation, but it was when he leaned over to pick her up that she vaguely registered it wasn't Kuo but... Kiyoteru?

Rin was vaguely aware of falling and a sensation of hitting something hard before she blacked out entirely.

* * *

A/N- Eheh... eh... kinda gross, no? Oj, well, I hope you guys liked it anyway. I know I had a lot of fun writing it ^^ (More than I should have, probably, I think I kind of scared my editor...)

Anyways- Liked it? Hated it? Remember, reviews are author food :)


	20. Chapter 20

A/N- So... I was gone for a while. Sorry abut that. There was studying, then finals, then beginning-of-summer-stuff, but I'm back now ^^

Oh! And, this is the second-to-last chapter- and the last one is already edited and ready to post, so that will be up this weekend at the latest~

Enjoy~!

* * *

It hurt to wake up, although her pain was more emotional than physical- she didn't _want_ to wake up. Before she even opened her eyes, she was mentally ticking off things she'd lost- her happy, normal family, Len (although he _had_ come back), a large amount of innocence, naivety, and blood from her first suicide attempt. She lost any dignity she had by being accepted to a mental ward- a place where people who weren't accepted by society were stored away, kept away from everyone else.

And then she'd lost Mikuo- not in body, but in his presence. He was still there, but she figured it counted to say she'd lost him as well.

Maybe a normal person would have been able to handle it- maybe, anyone else could have taken it without a problem. '_Whole life falling apart around you? No problem!'_ anyone else might've been able to cope, or at least pretend to, but not her.

She could think of a lot of words to describe herself- _broken, destroyed, hopeless, stupid, alone, weak..._ The list went on and on.

And the fact that maybe, if Miku wasn't kidding, she'd actually been _loved_ despite it all?

No, there was no way that was possible, it was a fluke or a joke or some other mishap. Nobody would use their precious time and energy to actually care about saving and protecting such a wretched child as herself... right?

Rin peeled one eye open, then the other. The small part of her mind that was apparently still capable of rational thought told her that thinking that kind of thing was dangerously unproductive.

Looking around, she realized she had no idea where she was. She assumed she was still in the ward, since the walls were painted the same nondescript color as every other room there, but this room resembled more of a miniature hospital than anything else.

Rin noticed the almost unnatural silence of the room, before realizing that there was a small IV needle in her arm, with a piece of tape holding it in place. She peeled back the tape and pulled out the needle, her complete and utter hatred of them not dulled by what had happened.

A small bubble of blood appeared, and she poked it experimentally with her finger, so that a drop of it stuck to her pointer finger. She proceeded to rub it rhythmically between her forefinger and thumb until it turned sticky, before swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and sitting up.

It was only when her feet hit the floor that she felt a bit dizzy, her head swimming from how much blood she had lost. She glanced down briefly to see that her shirt had been removed, leaving only the tank top she'd worn underneath it, and a pair of loose sweatpants she usually wore to bed.

The incisions from her fingernails were wrapped tightly in bandages, she noted as she slowly stood up and started walking in the direction of the door, her feet covered in pink socks that she vaguely recognized as Teto's.

She grabbed the doorknob and turned it slowly, letting out a sigh of relief that it was unlocked, and started walking down a hallway she didn't recognize until it abruptly ended in a door. Not seeing what else to do, she decided to try this one as well, and was surprised to find it unlocked as well.

She walked through it, and instantly regained her sense of orientation. She was right near the dining hall, and could find her way back without a problem. However, she still had yet to walk past any windows and had no idea how long she had been unconscious or what time of day it was.

Rin made her way back to her room without seeing anyone else, and noted that the lights were out and the curtains drawn. She pulled back the curtain, and saw that it was nearly dawn, with pale light already shining weakly down. Rin glanced over to see Teto, her hair free of its pigtails and strewn across the pillow.

She decided to just lie down for a while, since although she'd only just woken up, she felt drowsy again. The moment her head hit the pillow, she gave in to the waves of exhaustion crashing over her.

"-found her! Kiyo, she's in here!" RIn heard a vaguely familiar voice calling to her as she was pulled slowly to consciousness. She heard running footsteps, and curiosity overtook her slight lingering drowsiness, drawing her to open her eyes.

At first, there was simply a blue blur floating over her face- and a few confused blinks later, the blur came into focus as what she recognized to be Yuki's therapist- Kaiko? Taito? Something like that...

She stretched slightly under the blankets before groggily sitting up. Kiyoteru entered the room then, and Rin noticed that it was the first time she had seen him with his shirt untucked, tie loose and hair disheveled.

Kaito- she remembered his name- put an arm on her back to keep her from slumping over, as she felt like her muscles would give out at any minute, and the only thing that Rin could manage to say was,

"S-sorry..." She took a shuddering sigh and pushed the blankets off of herself, avoiding the eyes of both Kaito and Kiyoteru, and was suddenly self-conscious of the fact that there was dried blood on the inside of her arm from where she had ripped out the IV the night before.

"I'm sorry." She repeated again, and felt tears pop into her eyes. "I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry..." She was starting to sound like a broken record, and probably could have kept apologizing for eternity if Kiyoteru hadn't given Kaito a quick nod of thanks and asked in a low voice for him to leave.

"Rin, you don't have to apologize. But... could you maybe explain? Please? Why did you do that last night?" Even though he didn't specify, Rin could only assume he was alluding to the incident of her suicide attempt. Rin always told Kiyoteru the complete truth, and saw no reason to lie then.

"He... liked me. Mikuo did." The disjointed words didn't make much sense, but Kiyoteru could piece them together to get a general idea of the situation.

"Would you care to elaborate?" Kiyoteru prompted gently, but Rin shook her head. She decided she didn't really have a choice, not under the grave look he was giving her, and sighed slightly before gathering her thoughts and saying,

"Miku- I was talking to her yesterday- and she said that she thought Kuo liked me. Before... you know..." Kiyoteru nodded in solemn understanding.

"I see. But, wouldn't that normally be a good thing?" Rin frowned, her hair falling into her eyes as she thought about it.

"It... it would, I guess, but he doesn't remember, and I feel like its some kind of secret, and it was his feelings in the first place, and he... I don't know." Rin had no idea how to better express the emotions she was feeling- everything was tumbling together in her head, not forming complete sentences or even coherent thoughts as she tried to express her confusion.

However, she had to keep in mind that it was Kiyoteru's job to deal with people like her, and he somehow seemed to get most of it.

"You're confused because he liked you before, or because that might have changed now?" Rin looked into his chocolate brown eyes and tried to decide.

"I don't know. I'm just confused about... everything." Rin ran her fingers through her tangled hair in frustration.

"And it's okay to feel that emotion, Rin, but we need to figure out a different way for you to deal with it, okay? Hmm... What's one thing you love doing in your free time? Before you came here, I mean?" Rin stopped to think- what _did_ she like to do? It had been so long since she really had a chance to think about an answer to that question.

"Um... Drawing, maybe?" She had never really been very good at it, but she had always enjoyed drawing and sketching in her free time.

"What if I said I could get you a sketchbook, if you promised not to hurt yourself any more?" Rin was surprised at the proposal- she had only ever hurt herself twice, and she really did miss drawing, so it seemed like a fair exchange. She nodded once, slowly, before glancing up to meet Kiyoteru's eyes again.

He was smiling slightly, apparently glad that she had agreed. "Do you feel better now?" He asked, "Anything else you want to tell me, like thoughts or concerns?" Rin suddenly thought of something, an odd notion that she hadn't thought about since she had talked to Mikuo's old therapist, Gakupo.

"I didn't want to die, this time or last time. I wanted- well, I don't know what I _did_ want, exactly, but I wanted to stay alive. I didn't want to die..." Rin felt tears spring to her eyes again, and this time she let them fall. "I... I wanted to live, but I was suicidal. I don't get it!" Kiyoteru put an arm over her shoulder again, squeezing it gently to reassure her.

"Rin, no matter how stressful it is, that's a good thing- okay? It's probably confusing, but that desperate need to live is what makes people essentially _human_. You still wanting to live- that's a sign of recovery, Rin, even if it seems impossible now. You can win, okay?" He ruffled her already-unruly hair affectionately. "And I'll see what I can do about getting you that sketchbook."

* * *

A/N- Not much to say about this one, it was just kinda angst-y, filler-y stuff. Hope you liked it!

And... Even though I probably don't deserve it after being gone for so long... reviews are author food. Don't make me starve, m'kay?


	21. Chapter 21

A/N-So... here it is. The last chapter. After what, six months? I fee like this should have been longer, but at the same time I'm done with dealing worth it. I hope this isn't too anticlimactic of an ending- I kinda liked it, anyway, and I suck at ending stories :P

So, without further ado, Enjoy~

* * *

Rin was excused from the day's normal itinerary, and ended up spending most of the day curled up on her bed, staring into space and pondering Kiyoteru's words. If she still had a chance of recovering, why had nothing happened yet? After as long as she had been in a controlled, safe environment with professional help, shouldn't she feel at least a little different? Shouldn't _something _have changed? But, she still felt like the same Rin Kagamine, the one who was too narrow-minded and oblivious to realize (or take advantage of) the feelings that Mikuo had been keeping from her.

And, she was without a doubt the same confused, depressed Rin Kagamine who had tried to kill herself with a razor in her aunt's bathroom.

Nothing had changed, not really, no matter how much she hated to admit it. But, if Kiyoteru said he thought she had a chance...

Did she? She thought back through everything she had told Kiyoteru. Had she ever said anything about _wanting_ to improve, or wanting to genuinely be able to recover?

She decided that from that moment, she would- whole-heartedly- put all of her effort into recovering emotionally, and making sure she could get out- and if not for her own good, then for Mikuo's. Because Rin knew that although Mikuo had been there to support her when she had needed it most, the roles were now reversed, and if she was indeed trying to help him, she was doing a terrible job at it.

*-.-*-.-*-.-*

It was late afternoon when Rin finally got up and faced her new decision. When she joined her friends in the dining hall for dinner that evening, they were all rather taken aback by how optimistic she suddenly was. It seemed rather counter-intuitive (to Rin, at least) that she could be so suddenly positive when she had tried to kill herself only the night before.

Teto was thoroughly confused about the whole thing- she had only known part of the whole story to begin with, and was convinced that Rin was now bipolar as well as self harming. However, the pink-haired girl was very understanding when Rin tried to explain her less-than-logical thought process from that night. (Of course, Teto then started giving marriage advice to another nonexistent someone a moment later, but that was pretty much normal for Teto.)

The next day, Rin explained her plan of actively trying to improve to Kiyoteru. He agreed, and they continued on to have a discussion that would go on for so long Rin would nearly miss lunch.

Even though there were still negative things in her life (quite a lot of them, really), Rin's mood had lifted considerably. She wanted to let Mikuo know what had happened the previous night, and was simply waiting for a chance and means to do so.

She went back to her Spanish class that afternoon and even though she knew that she was terribly behind on most of the work, she made an attempt to catch up. Teto tried to help her, but the girl was a bit of a genius when it came to languages, so she wasn't having any trouble at all.

"See, Rin, you just have to put it into this verb conjugation, so that it agrees with the particle." Rin looked down at the paper, and still had no idea what she was doing. She took great relief at the bell for lunch, and also in the fact that she could just blend back into the normal schedule, despite her emotional turmoil. (Another upside is that luckily the bandages present on her forearms didn't raise any questions either).

After dinner, Rin made her way back to her room, quietly avoiding the common area. She really didn't want to talk to anyone, neither in person nor on the phone. When she opened the door, the first thing she saw was a brand-new sketchbook resting innocently on her bed, as well as a package of colored pencils and a few mechanical drawing pencils. Immediately, she knew what she was going to do first.

She took out one of the drawing pencils, opened up the sketch book to the first page, and began to write.

_Dear Kuo-_

_Hey, you. So I needed to tell you something, and I figured a letter would be easier than anything else. Kind of vintage, you know? _

_Well... last night, I attempted suicide again. I don't really know what it all was- depression, anxiety, fear, anger, or all of the above. Not being able to deal with or handle my emotions. _

_I know you probably don't remember, but you saved my life once. The first time I attempted suicide. I was desperate, I was miserable, but most of all, I was afraid. But then you were there. You saved me from myself, and I can never repay you for that. _

_And you stayed. Most importantly of all, you stayed. You've been there for me through everything since. The thick and the thin, the good and the bad. Even in your mangled state of disrepair, you still try and help me._

_I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you. Thank you for life, the universe, and everything. _

_..You know, I really miss you out here, being stuck in this mental ward. I think I'll be out soon though.. Today, for the first time in ages, I actually felt _better_. Soon, I'll be able to come take care of you. In the meantime, you keep yourself safe, Kuo. I look forward to seeing you out there, where the sun shines. :)_

_-Rin_

_P.S. I was talking to Miku the other day on the phone, and she mentioned something about how she thought you used to like me- before everything that happened with you losing your memory, I mean. And, I just wanted to say... I really like you too. A romantic relationship would be a nice break from all this dull therapy. Maybe we could give it a shot?_

* * *

**E/N: Hey, guys! So I really hoped you liked this chapter... particularly the ending... cuz it was all me. B) Not to brag or anything, but I basically rewrote the entire second half of the chapter. :| So blame me if you don't like it, not the author. **

A/N: Yeah... that whole last part was all her~ I re-wrote it twice, and it just kinda came out... bad. Yup. Sooo, my awesome editor fixed that up for me. **E/N: XD** Oh, and also... I guess I probably should have mentioned something earlier, but as of now, this is the last official chapter of '180'. So, I hope you guys really enjoyed it (I know I did!). **E/N: Me too. ^_^** Thanks for all the reviews/ favorites/ follows I got along the way, as well!

**E/N: Yeah! You guys are great! :D**


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